Saturday, 16 January 2016

The Day Anxiety Came To Play


We've all seen the film Inside out, what do you mean you haven't? *shakes head*  I'm presuming the rest of you have?

Well, if you haven't seen it yet, it follows the journey of a little girl called Riley.  Riley has some little characters that live in her head, and they go on a journey all of their own.

It's mine and Missy Missions favourite film at the moment, yes we have stopped watching frozen, well for a few days anyway. So some lovely friends of mine warned me not to watch the film, at least until i had given birth to Messi Mission, as it would possibly make me cry.  There was no possibly about it, i sobbed like a baby, and i mean properly sobbed with snot bubbles and everything.

I haven't watched a film that has made me sob snot bubbles since i was about 6 and i watched ET, i still sob snot bubbles.  Anyway enough of the snot.

I couldn't work out why this film affected me the way it did, then i realised its because i have the same characters that live in my head.  Anger, Disgust, Joy, Fear, Sadness and my little pink elephant imaginary friend LaLa

I can function normally most of the time, joy provides me with my positive outlook on life, and she keeps the rest in check normally. But something happened recently, Joy needed a holiday so she left the others to "man the ship" as it were.

All was fine, everyone was happy and cheerful until one day something happened, i heard something i wasn't overly happy about, *cue anger* oh dear this can only end in tears and normally mine, one ranty post later and all hell breaks loose.

Disgust, Fear and Sadness were hiding in the corner, whilst Anger sat back and ate chocolate, feeling rather proud of himself.

It seems my ranty post got me into a little bit of trouble, *cue fear*  You see i can normally get through everyday with a smile and two words " I'm Fine".  I'm fine can cover all known issues, even when i'm not fine, its easier to say.  After a while you actually start to believe that you are fine, but i'm fine didn't cut it this time, I wasn't fine, i was cross, hurt and anxious. *cue more tears and fears cousin anxiety*

You see i was betrayed.   Betrayed by someone i thought was a friend, and i'm so very picky when it comes to my friends.  Now there's a saying in life Trust takes years to build, seconds to break and forever to repair, but what is even worse, is that i still don't know who betrayed me or even why they felt the need too.

Had i been such a bad person, that they felt the need to break the trust we had?  I still don't understand, I cried some more.  Then i found out that this breach of trust had affected others too, *cue disgust and anxiety*.  What if people hated me for getting others into trouble? God i really needed joy back from her holiday, that lazy biatch was sunning herself whilst i was having a major melt down. I'm seeing similarities to the film here.  So how did Riley get back on track in the film, well without giving away too much away the characters got back to HQ and restored Riley's core memories.

Technically there wasn't anything wrong with my core memories, i just had to work out how i was going to get joy back from her holiday and she would know how to silence Fear's cousin Anxiety.

The usual stuff didn't work, Chocolate, wine, pizza, chips, so what would make joy want to leave a sunny beach, to come back to HQ and fix mummy?

Messi Mission had the answer.

You see i was watching my tiniest tot, smiling, cooing and generally being all happy and joyful.  Joy was there all along she was just teaching me a lesson.  You see, i suffered from terrible anxieties when i was younger. So much so i was painfully shy, found it hard to make friends and really hated doing anything out of my comfort zone.  Then i learnt all about Life coaching and how different exercises can help you boot anxiety's butt and learn to live a joyful life and not listen to that voice in your head.

So i spent some time away from everyone, which is difficult in the mission house, because most of the time i pee with an audience. I took the time to write down everything i was grateful for, i spoke to some of the people my ranty post had affected, they assured me that it wasn't my fault and i reassessed some of my friendships.

It still hurts that i don't know who betrayed me or why they felt the need too?  But i can honestly say, joy has returned to the building and as much as its been an experience anxiety coming to stay, i've managed to book him on a space programme so i guess i wont be seeing him again for a very long time.

Lesson of the month:
1. If you are going to rant make sure you do it inside your head, to close friends and maybe not on social media because you never know who's watching.

2. Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about, so always be kind.

and

3. How people treat you is their Karma and how you react to it is yours.  So i forgive the person who betrayed me, because my nana always used to say "Should you ever find yourself the victim of other peoples bitterness, small mindedness or insecurities, remember it could be worse......You Could Be Them!

Have an amazing day

Lots of loves




Friday, 1 January 2016

Updated Missions


Well i warned you that we would be back, i feel like i should be breaking out in to song or something.  *Hello, how are you?* okay maybe not.

So it's been a while since we tormented you with all the Missions antics, so let me fill you all in since we last saw you.

Teenage Mission, is getting older!!!  I know it happens to us all, but he's 18 in February.  No way i hear you all cry surly not.  I know, *checks birth certificate* i'm seriously not old enough am i?

Drama Mission, well, she is the most amazing little lady i have ever known.  She has been through some tough old times, but came back bigger and better and now has very expensive taste in clothes and make-up.

Princess Mission, well she has learnt to kick butt, she is now the youngest mission to become a black belt in Taekwondo

Monster Mission, Well he is growing everyday, he has gone from being a monster at home to being my all time favourite footballer (well apart from Leighton Baines).

Then we had a bit of a technical hitch with the blog, and when we moved we lost all our posts from 2013, this is when we were joined by the very feisty and beautiful Missy Mission. She is a ball of energy and can wrap her brothers and daddy right around her tiny little finger.

But 2015, we gained another Mission.  Welcome Messi Mission, he is only a very delicate 7 weeks old (today), but he already has us all wrapped around his little fingers.

So that's us for now, a bigger and better post following behind this one very very shortly.

Take Care


Sunday, 26 June 2011

Karaoke Meme...*you are advised to cover your ears*

The lovely and fabulous Tash over at The Domestic Anarchist tagged me into this rather amusing Meme.  Amusing because for one i REALLY can't sing, no i REALLY  can't! And two, I actually think i sound like Beyonce in the shower, but the word on the street is the neighbours phoned the R.S.P.C.A up because they thought someone was strangling a cat. We don't even have a cat!

Any way i'm deviating from the task in hand, So one song that i would or have sung at Karaoke.  Well I have never sang at a Karaoke for the fear of killing someones ear drums, so the only time i have sang out loud was when me and my best mate Poe very very very drunk back in the day.

Here is the song:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WV02nP9PLnQ&feature=player_detailpage

Can't beat a bit of Frankie baby!

Have a fab day

Love mummy x

Silent Sunday



Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Song Titles to Live Your Life By.



Now when I first saw this fab little Meme I wanted in straight away, the lovely Caroline over at @scribblingmum started this little ball rolling.  I quickly tweeted her asking could I have in, she politely tweeted back that I would be more than welcome to join in.  So off I set to find 5 songs that I could live my life by.

I thought it would be dead easy, but since Saturday I have picked songs and then picked better ones.  So I have bitten the bullet and today I will be choosing 5 songs and sticking to them.

So here we go:

1.       Travis – Flowers in the window.

This is one of my favourite songs and always reminds me of my husband, who had NEVER held a baby until we had our eldest son Teenage Mission.  In fact he never wanted kids until he was 30 and by that time he had 2 of them.

 2.  GLEE – Loser like Me

This is definitely the new theme tune to my life.

All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way
It ain't so hard to take (That's right)
'Cause I know one day you'll be screamin' my name
And I'll just look away (That's right)


Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth (So everyone can hear)


Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down (Baby, I don't care)
Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out
You wanna be, you wanna be
A loser like me! A loser like me!


 

Every time someone bad mouths me or take sly dig’s this song just runs around my head and the lyrics are so true!

3.  Pink – Perfect

This song is for my beautiful children, showing them that its life that they will make mistakes, but that is life.

And they will always be perfect to me!

4.  Jessie J – Price tag

This song is definitely the here and now, these days everything seems to be about what everyone has.

As Jessie says “money can’t buy us happiness”

 

My favourite lines have to be  

 

Seems like everybody's got a price,
I wonder how they sleep at night.
When the sale comes first,
And the truth comes second,
Just stop, for a minute and
Smile


 

5.       B.o.B  feat Hayley Williams – Airplanes

This is one of my favourites, it’s a favourite on my iPod, the lyrics mean so much to me, it also a favourite for Drama Mission too.  It’s a “be careful what you wish for” song.

Yeah
I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this!


 

The lyrics mean a lot to me especially now more than ever!

So that’s it, those are my 5 songs, I could have gone on forever, but these songs are my life right now.

A big thanks to Caroline for letting me share them, it’s been very therapeutic.

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Little Mummy Lost

Sunday was Fathers Day as you all know, but like any other day the family made a big fuss over daddy for about half an hour and then it was business as usual.  Daddy took the three little ones to Tae Kwon do and left mummy home alone with Teenage Mission.  He was actually still in bed; well he is a teenager now, and the only time he sees lunchtime is through the week, but that’s only because school is compulsory.

Anyway, I found myself in a bit of a dilemma; I had to shoot to asda to get some bits for our special Fathers day lunch.  So? , I hear you all shouting; well I couldn’t go ALONE, Could I?  I don’t think I have been anywhere alone for the past 13 years; I have always had someone with me ALWAYS.  Even a quick trip to the loo involves one of the kids.

I got into the car and drove to Asda, the car was too quiet so I turn the iPod on JLS, The Saturdays, Bob the Builder...What happened to mummy’s playlist?  I was driving so I had no time to find it, so I listened to JLS all the way there.

Once I got to Asda I drove straight in and automatically drove to the Parent and baby spaces before realising, I had no right to park there, so I drove around looking for the regular spaces that regular people park in.  I don’t think I have ever parked anywhere else in our asda car park, but I gave it my best shot to find a suitable parking space.  I got out of the car, feeling like I should be doing something or I had lost something.  Quick check, keys, purse and phone all present and correct, I automatically opened the back door without realising I was still alone.

I trotted off into the store with my list and my basket; I strolled around looking at all the lovely things around me.  I had never been so relaxed shopping before, every time I heard a shout “Mummy” I would turn around, even though I knew I was alone.

I wandered off to the sweet aisle, there wasn’t a sound, no fighting, no “Mummy can I have?” nothing, I was expecting a little announcement to come over the tannoy.

“Can the children of the lost mummy in the sweet aisle please come to the customer service desk and collect her please”

I finally finished the shopping and managed to pay for everything, strangely there was no added surprises lurking at the bottom of the basket.

I got back to the car still thinking that I had forgotten something or I was missing something.  I checked, phone, purse, keys, shopping, head.  All present and correct, the drive home was once again unusually quiet.  But this time mummy had a plan, I switched the ipod over to Mummy mode, and it was the Foo’s all the way home.  Yes, I got some strange looks when I stopped at the traffic lights, I knew what they were all saying “Look at that mum, with no kids”.  I half expected to get pulled over by the police, I wonder if it’s an offence to travel in a car with child seats and no kids in them.

Well that was it, my trip into the outside world, all alone I should have made the most of the whole hour I was away, because I know it’s never going to happen for another 13 years.

Monday, 20 June 2011

Annoying...Much?



I have been known to rant and shout every now and then, well we all do it, some more than others granted.

So after the week from hell, I thought I would blog about all the things that annoy me the most, so if we were ever to meet, you would know what things NOT to talk about.

Well let’s get cracking then:

  1. Firstly has to be those pesky kids on the Green Balloon Club, for some reason, Cbeebies have decided to start randomly showing some of their songs.  Please BBC STOP!  They are very very annoying; I would rather listen to some one scratching a blackboard.

  2. Chav’s, please it is NEVER acceptable to slap your child, especially around the head, and  it is even less acceptable to slap them around the head again, because the first time you did it they dropped their toy.  If I see you do this again I WILL SLAP YOU!

  3. Sly dig’s, it is never professional EVER to make a public dig at someone no matter how much you think you dislike them.  It maybe your public account and freedom of speech is your right, but as my Nan always says “If you have got nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all” Wise woman my Nan. Please note this is not a dig at anyone and if you think it is then that is down to your own paranoia!

  4. Rude Neighbours, Seriously you haven’t move into the house yet so can you refrain from being rude and obnoxious thanks. And for the record Manners cost NOTHING so get some!

  5. Rude Drivers, especially those who steal your parking space just as you were about to park in it, those who have no business parking in the parent baby spaces and those who are running late for work and decide it’s their god given right to push in to an already long queue of road works.

  6. Being Late, This is more of a pet hate than an annoyance, but I suppose I inherited it from my granddad.  I hate being late for anything, I was one 2 hours early for a job interview, because I was so afraid of being late!

  7. Mobile Phones, Now I have a mobile phone, but if I go into a shop and I’m just about to be served and it rings I will ignore it until I get outside.  I hate it when people are too busy chatting on the phone to their mates about what so and so did last night, to even acknowledge the people who are serving them in the shop.  Manners people!!

  8. 8.       Dog Poop, Yes if it drops out of your dogs bottom, pick it up.  I don’t appreciate having to scrape it off my child shoe because they accidentally stood in it.  The next time you don’t pick it up, I will and then I will post it through you door.

  9. 9.       False friends, You know the ones?  They only really talk to you when they really want to know the latest gossip!  To combat this is put up misleading facebook statuses just for the windup, I know its mean, but you soon find out who your Real friends are as they will send you a delicate little email.

  10. 10.   Chocolate stealers, Now being a mum of four I understand more than most that there is nothing sacred in my house.  But the one thing I have taught my children is NOT to steal chocolate from mummy. I will share anything else, well apart from chips and coleslaw, but you understand about those don’t you?


OK so now I sound like a Grumpy Old Woman, but there they are my top 10 things that annoy me, I could have gone on the list is endless.  Now I’m not doing myself any favours am I?

So to balance me out I will give you a list of things I actually love:

  1. My Family, they make me smile everyday and I count my blessings that I have them in my life.

  2. My friends, these are the people who not only believe in me, but are always there when needed or not!

  3. My Mobile Phone, I know they are in my hate list but I adore my new baby Iphone so you have to give me that one.

  4. Facebook, because no matter how crap you think your life is there is always someone worse off than you, or someone just making a tit of themselves with statuses (Not a DIG)

  5. Twitter, makes me smile, no matter what time day or night there is always someone to talk to and from all walks of life too.

  6. Chocolate, my best friend, my soul mate, without it my life well just wouldn’t be complete (I’m lying but it does help)

  7. Wine, now this you have to understand is for medicinal purposes and is only taken when needed (most days)

  8. Internet, now what would I do without the internet; my life would simply not exist.  I’m lying again, but you know what I mean. What did we do before the internet by the way?

  9. Tea and Toast, this is the only combination that gets me going in the morning, without them I would still be in bed (I should be sponsored by them or something)

  10. Finally the apple of my eye, the sugar in my tea the icing on the cake has to be my beloved laptop, without it, there would be no blog, no social networking, no business and  I would look naked without it and believe me that’s not pretty


 

So that’s me warts and all, some say I’m like marmite you either love me or hate me.  But you choose and let me know what you think.

 Love you lots

Mummy