Tuesday, 5 October 2010

LIAR LIAR!!

As mums we teach our kids that it’s wrong to lie, and telling the truth is the right thing to do. But as grown up’s we lie at any opportunity, I’m not talking massive porkers just little white lies.

For instance:

Daddy Mission “Are those new boots?”

Me: “No silly I have had them for ages; they have been shoved in the back of the wardrobe”

Now that was only a little lie. Because they had been in the back of the wardrobe, but for only a few minutes whilst I was hiding the box.

We also tell them to our children:

If you don’t eat up all your vegetables then you won’t grow big and strong. Really well it never did me any harm.

If you say you don’t believe in Father Christmas then he won’t come to you.

Also if you are naughty then Santa will bring you ashes.

Now these two could save me a fortune......but again little white lies.

So you can imagine my horror when one of these little white lies comes back and bites me on the bum. You see Princess Mission is four and very impressionable she believes everything she is told.

I call her gullible Annie, after I caught daddy mission trying to convince her to support Manchester United. He was telling her they were the greatest team ever; she was starting to come around to his way of thinking until I told her “Shrek” played for them. (She hates that film). To which she replied “err no thank you daddy”.

That was my girl, she was born blue (Everton blue) and she will stay that way or so I thought. My beautiful princess is a tiny little thing and loves to play, so I couldn’t believe my ear’s when I heard her shouting a rather unsavoury word in our back garden one day.

The word was, oh god I shudder when I think about it, please don’t make me say it:

LIVERPOOL!!!

Oh lord I could have cried, I ran outside and asked her what she had just said, she repeated it again. The conversation that followed was a long one, I explained that if you say THAT word your tongue will go black and fall out and it was a really naughty word. All was forgotten and she went off outside to play, I was praying the neighbours hadn’t heard her, what would they think.

Until yesterday that was, you see Little Princess is now in full time school and loves being with all her friends and she adores her new teacher. But princess likes to be the upstanding student and loves to tell her teacher when someone is doing something wrong. So whilst playing around the sand pit a conversation started about football, you can see where I’m going with this one can’t you.

Princess and three little friends discussing their favourite teams, Princess declares I love Everton, well the girl has taste what can I say.

Her first little friends declared I love Tranmere Rovers; Princess tells her that there is no such team. You can imagine the conversation a bit like that milk ad in the 80’s where the two kids were arguing over the milk, because someone said that if they don’t drink enough milk that they would only be good enough to play for Liverpool, or something like that anyway.

The second child declares his love for Manchester United, Princess replied well I don’t like that team it’s full of ogres and talking donkeys (well she is nearly right).

Then comes the bomb shell her forth little friend declares well I love LIVERPOOL, Princess couldn’t believe her ear’s. But she had remembered what she had heard and swiftly told her little friend not to speak and to stay where he was.

She quickly ran and got the teacher telling her that her friend had said a naughty word, when the teacher asked what it was; Princess said she couldn’t say it. The teachers said oh was it a naughty word, Princess nodded and told the teacher that her mummy had said if anyone says this word then their tongue would turn black and fall out.

Apparently her little friend never spoke for the rest of the day in fear that his tongue would fall out, and Princess well she was happy knowing she had saved her little friends tongue from falling out, after all just think of the mess it would have made in the sand pit.

2 comments:

  1. This really brightened up my day, thanks. Miss my older two being so gullible & can't wait for my littlest to reach this stage again after reading this. Also reminds me of when I used to have to look after my little brother. One day when he was being particularly annoying, I told him to sit outside & watch the world go by. To my amazement he sat outside for ages staring up at the sky. It transpired that he was actually sitting there waiting for a planet to travel through the sky! The little lad was so keen to see this spectacle that I was able to send him outside for several days while I sat chatting on the phone to my mates. Unfortunately, my mum eventually found out and set him straight!

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