Sunday, 26 June 2011

Karaoke Meme...*you are advised to cover your ears*

The lovely and fabulous Tash over at The Domestic Anarchist tagged me into this rather amusing Meme.  Amusing because for one i REALLY can't sing, no i REALLY  can't! And two, I actually think i sound like Beyonce in the shower, but the word on the street is the neighbours phoned the R.S.P.C.A up because they thought someone was strangling a cat. We don't even have a cat!

Any way i'm deviating from the task in hand, So one song that i would or have sung at Karaoke.  Well I have never sang at a Karaoke for the fear of killing someones ear drums, so the only time i have sang out loud was when me and my best mate Poe very very very drunk back in the day.

Here is the song:

Can't beat a bit of Frankie baby!

Have a fab day

Love mummy x

Silent Sunday

Wednesday, 22 June 2011

Song Titles to Live Your Life By.

Now when I first saw this fab little Meme I wanted in straight away, the lovely Caroline over at @scribblingmum started this little ball rolling.  I quickly tweeted her asking could I have in, she politely tweeted back that I would be more than welcome to join in.  So off I set to find 5 songs that I could live my life by.

I thought it would be dead easy, but since Saturday I have picked songs and then picked better ones.  So I have bitten the bullet and today I will be choosing 5 songs and sticking to them.

So here we go:

1.       Travis – Flowers in the window.

This is one of my favourite songs and always reminds me of my husband, who had NEVER held a baby until we had our eldest son Teenage Mission.  In fact he never wanted kids until he was 30 and by that time he had 2 of them.

 2.  GLEE – Loser like Me

This is definitely the new theme tune to my life.

All of the dirt you've been throwin' my way
It ain't so hard to take (That's right)
'Cause I know one day you'll be screamin' my name
And I'll just look away (That's right)

Just go ahead and hate on me and run your mouth (So everyone can hear)

Hit me with the worst you got and knock me down (Baby, I don't care)
Keep it up and soon enough you'll figure out
You wanna be, you wanna be
A loser like me! A loser like me!


Every time someone bad mouths me or take sly dig’s this song just runs around my head and the lyrics are so true!

3.  Pink – Perfect

This song is for my beautiful children, showing them that its life that they will make mistakes, but that is life.

And they will always be perfect to me!

4.  Jessie J – Price tag

This song is definitely the here and now, these days everything seems to be about what everyone has.

As Jessie says “money can’t buy us happiness”


My favourite lines have to be  


Seems like everybody's got a price,
I wonder how they sleep at night.
When the sale comes first,
And the truth comes second,
Just stop, for a minute and


5.       B.o.B  feat Hayley Williams – Airplanes

This is one of my favourites, it’s a favourite on my iPod, the lyrics mean so much to me, it also a favourite for Drama Mission too.  It’s a “be careful what you wish for” song.

I could use a dream or a genie or a wish
To go back to a place much simpler than this!


The lyrics mean a lot to me especially now more than ever!

So that’s it, those are my 5 songs, I could have gone on forever, but these songs are my life right now.

A big thanks to Caroline for letting me share them, it’s been very therapeutic.

Tuesday, 21 June 2011

Little Mummy Lost

Sunday was Fathers Day as you all know, but like any other day the family made a big fuss over daddy for about half an hour and then it was business as usual.  Daddy took the three little ones to Tae Kwon do and left mummy home alone with Teenage Mission.  He was actually still in bed; well he is a teenager now, and the only time he sees lunchtime is through the week, but that’s only because school is compulsory.

Anyway, I found myself in a bit of a dilemma; I had to shoot to asda to get some bits for our special Fathers day lunch.  So? , I hear you all shouting; well I couldn’t go ALONE, Could I?  I don’t think I have been anywhere alone for the past 13 years; I have always had someone with me ALWAYS.  Even a quick trip to the loo involves one of the kids.

I got into the car and drove to Asda, the car was too quiet so I turn the iPod on JLS, The Saturdays, Bob the Builder...What happened to mummy’s playlist?  I was driving so I had no time to find it, so I listened to JLS all the way there.

Once I got to Asda I drove straight in and automatically drove to the Parent and baby spaces before realising, I had no right to park there, so I drove around looking for the regular spaces that regular people park in.  I don’t think I have ever parked anywhere else in our asda car park, but I gave it my best shot to find a suitable parking space.  I got out of the car, feeling like I should be doing something or I had lost something.  Quick check, keys, purse and phone all present and correct, I automatically opened the back door without realising I was still alone.

I trotted off into the store with my list and my basket; I strolled around looking at all the lovely things around me.  I had never been so relaxed shopping before, every time I heard a shout “Mummy” I would turn around, even though I knew I was alone.

I wandered off to the sweet aisle, there wasn’t a sound, no fighting, no “Mummy can I have?” nothing, I was expecting a little announcement to come over the tannoy.

“Can the children of the lost mummy in the sweet aisle please come to the customer service desk and collect her please”

I finally finished the shopping and managed to pay for everything, strangely there was no added surprises lurking at the bottom of the basket.

I got back to the car still thinking that I had forgotten something or I was missing something.  I checked, phone, purse, keys, shopping, head.  All present and correct, the drive home was once again unusually quiet.  But this time mummy had a plan, I switched the ipod over to Mummy mode, and it was the Foo’s all the way home.  Yes, I got some strange looks when I stopped at the traffic lights, I knew what they were all saying “Look at that mum, with no kids”.  I half expected to get pulled over by the police, I wonder if it’s an offence to travel in a car with child seats and no kids in them.

Well that was it, my trip into the outside world, all alone I should have made the most of the whole hour I was away, because I know it’s never going to happen for another 13 years.

Monday, 20 June 2011


I have been known to rant and shout every now and then, well we all do it, some more than others granted.

So after the week from hell, I thought I would blog about all the things that annoy me the most, so if we were ever to meet, you would know what things NOT to talk about.

Well let’s get cracking then:

  1. Firstly has to be those pesky kids on the Green Balloon Club, for some reason, Cbeebies have decided to start randomly showing some of their songs.  Please BBC STOP!  They are very very annoying; I would rather listen to some one scratching a blackboard.

  2. Chav’s, please it is NEVER acceptable to slap your child, especially around the head, and  it is even less acceptable to slap them around the head again, because the first time you did it they dropped their toy.  If I see you do this again I WILL SLAP YOU!

  3. Sly dig’s, it is never professional EVER to make a public dig at someone no matter how much you think you dislike them.  It maybe your public account and freedom of speech is your right, but as my Nan always says “If you have got nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything at all” Wise woman my Nan. Please note this is not a dig at anyone and if you think it is then that is down to your own paranoia!

  4. Rude Neighbours, Seriously you haven’t move into the house yet so can you refrain from being rude and obnoxious thanks. And for the record Manners cost NOTHING so get some!

  5. Rude Drivers, especially those who steal your parking space just as you were about to park in it, those who have no business parking in the parent baby spaces and those who are running late for work and decide it’s their god given right to push in to an already long queue of road works.

  6. Being Late, This is more of a pet hate than an annoyance, but I suppose I inherited it from my granddad.  I hate being late for anything, I was one 2 hours early for a job interview, because I was so afraid of being late!

  7. Mobile Phones, Now I have a mobile phone, but if I go into a shop and I’m just about to be served and it rings I will ignore it until I get outside.  I hate it when people are too busy chatting on the phone to their mates about what so and so did last night, to even acknowledge the people who are serving them in the shop.  Manners people!!

  8. 8.       Dog Poop, Yes if it drops out of your dogs bottom, pick it up.  I don’t appreciate having to scrape it off my child shoe because they accidentally stood in it.  The next time you don’t pick it up, I will and then I will post it through you door.

  9. 9.       False friends, You know the ones?  They only really talk to you when they really want to know the latest gossip!  To combat this is put up misleading facebook statuses just for the windup, I know its mean, but you soon find out who your Real friends are as they will send you a delicate little email.

  10. 10.   Chocolate stealers, Now being a mum of four I understand more than most that there is nothing sacred in my house.  But the one thing I have taught my children is NOT to steal chocolate from mummy. I will share anything else, well apart from chips and coleslaw, but you understand about those don’t you?

OK so now I sound like a Grumpy Old Woman, but there they are my top 10 things that annoy me, I could have gone on the list is endless.  Now I’m not doing myself any favours am I?

So to balance me out I will give you a list of things I actually love:

  1. My Family, they make me smile everyday and I count my blessings that I have them in my life.

  2. My friends, these are the people who not only believe in me, but are always there when needed or not!

  3. My Mobile Phone, I know they are in my hate list but I adore my new baby Iphone so you have to give me that one.

  4. Facebook, because no matter how crap you think your life is there is always someone worse off than you, or someone just making a tit of themselves with statuses (Not a DIG)

  5. Twitter, makes me smile, no matter what time day or night there is always someone to talk to and from all walks of life too.

  6. Chocolate, my best friend, my soul mate, without it my life well just wouldn’t be complete (I’m lying but it does help)

  7. Wine, now this you have to understand is for medicinal purposes and is only taken when needed (most days)

  8. Internet, now what would I do without the internet; my life would simply not exist.  I’m lying again, but you know what I mean. What did we do before the internet by the way?

  9. Tea and Toast, this is the only combination that gets me going in the morning, without them I would still be in bed (I should be sponsored by them or something)

  10. Finally the apple of my eye, the sugar in my tea the icing on the cake has to be my beloved laptop, without it, there would be no blog, no social networking, no business and  I would look naked without it and believe me that’s not pretty


So that’s me warts and all, some say I’m like marmite you either love me or hate me.  But you choose and let me know what you think.

 Love you lots


Saturday, 18 June 2011

Happy Fathers Day.

I actually don’t know where to start on this blog post but, I will give it a go.

35 years ago, my 17 year old mum, gave birth to a tiny 7lb baby (that’s me), when she returned home with her little bundle she didn’t have a partner to support her, as he had decided that he was far too young for any kind of responsibility and off he went.

So growing up I had a unique set of parents, I had my mum, my nan, my granddad and my god father who also doubled as my uncle Bill.

Growing up was a truly amazing experience, I had two mums, one stand in dad and an uncle who was more like a big brother.  I had three other uncles, but none of them compared to my uncle bill, he was funny, kind and gave the best cuddles in the world (he still does today).

It’s funny how now matter how young you are you can hold on to certain memories, like the time I was sick in school, my granddad had just got in from work and he took the call to come and pick me up.  I was only about 4, and I was sat in the secretary’s office feeling very ill.  She said “Your dad is on his way to collect you”, I remember sitting there thinking my dad?  I don’t have one of those.  My granddad came strolling in with a big smile on his face and took me home.  He wrapped me up in a blanket, on the sofa and gave me a glass of water.  I wasn’t allowed glasses, but I was sick.

There was a darker side of my childhood that really shouldn’t be told in this post, as it involved a wicked step father.  You know the one, if you imagine the child catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and you would just be about right.  (Don’t worry he won’t sue me it’s all true).

Thankfully mum saw the light and met my new improved dad, I was 13 and he was her childhood sweetheart.  He is of course the man I call Dad, he taught me how to drive, how to put a lining on my tummy before I went out drinking and came to pick me up after that midnight call home, whilst steaming drunk.

What else are dads’s for?

He also took on four young girls that weren’t his own and made us feel wanted and then went on to have my baby sister with my mum (yes people that 5 girls in one house)  Don’t worry he had a shed.

So this is my life, two amazing dads, two hardworking mums and one amazing god father/Uncle and Brother.

This father’s day I would like to say a massive thank you to all three of them for making my life complete.  They have all played a massive part in making me the person I am today, they made me strong, they made me believe in myself and they taught me that no matter what life throws at me they will always be there, telling me to get up, wipe myself down and start again.

To them I am truly thankful and blessed.

But there is also one other man in my life now, that is my husband and long suffering Daddy Mission, you see, when we first met and started going out with each other, no one knew that after just three months I would end up pregnant.

We were both shocked, but unlike my dad, Daddy Mission stepped up to the mark and he has been there ever since, loving us his family.

So ladies and gents that makes four amazing men in my life (not forgetting Teenage and Monster Mission).

I think the moral of the story is, I may not have had a “biological dad” but I do have four amazing men that more than make up for his absence from my life.

and I just want to say, Happy Fathers day, To Daddy Mission, Grandad Mission, Uncle Mission and of course my one and only Dad Mission.

Hope all you dad’s out there have a fab day tomorrow.



Tuesday, 7 June 2011

Mummy is REALLY Sick

A few weeks ago now, I had to go and see a consultant about having to have an Endoscopy.  I have been having problems ever since I fell ill over New Year and it hasn’t really sorted itself out.  So after lots of pushing and shoving Daddy Mission finally got me to go to the doctors.

What is it with us mums and going to the doctors, we are quick enough to push the rest of the family into going, but we are busy little bee’s.

So after finally going, it seems I am REALLY sick after all.  It seems that ignoring my symptoms have just made things worse. 

So I suffered from a little Appetite loss, Tiredness, Excess acid and Heartburn as well as feeling bloated constantly, who hasn’t?

But I was also getting the feeling that food was getting stuck in my chest and back and the doctor shouted at me as I should have seen her sooner.

After I spoke to my GP and she immediately referred me to a consultant, who prodded and poked me.  He tested me to the limits and I felt sick from all the poking and prodding.

His diagnosis, we need the Endoscopy.  I was quietly hoping that he would say it’s just a tummy bug and it would all go away, sadly not.

So I had to relish the thought of having a minor procedure, but the thought of having someone check out my insides wasn’t thrilling me at all.  I mean what will they find in there?  I keep imagining that film, MOBY DICK!  Errmm No it wasn’t that.  It was Inner Space.

So procedure done and dusted, a little uncomfortable but not too bad and guess what they found, a tiny gastric ulcer, caused by a bacteria that has been lying on the pit of my stomach.

Explaining it to the kids should be simple, mummy has got a small ulcer, kind of like a spot in her tummy so she has to take tablets and it should shrink away.  There you go easy as pie, well maybe not.

Princess went first with the questions, “Mummy, is the ulcer big or small”, very small I told her.  Her mind started working overtime “Mummy if your ulcer is small why is your tummy very very big?” well sweetie that is mummy’s special apron, most mummy’s have one.  “Nanny has an apron” she replied “yes she does sweetie”,   “She hangs hers on the kitchen hook” she replied to be fair, my mummy apron isn’t anything like nanny’s but she went away fair satisfied with the answer.

Monster was next, “Mummy did the camera take pictures?”  yes, it did, here we go...”Why sweetie?” I asked.  “Will the doctor will put them on your facebook so we can all see them?” he replied.  “I don’t think doctors use facebook lovely” I replied, “Oh ok, maybe he will put them on youtube” he replied.

“I don’t think he will do that either huni” I said.  His little mind was working overtime, and then he came back with “But you said doctors were clever”.  “They are” I replied, “Well they can’t be that clever if they can’t use facebook or youtube, granddad isn’t clever and he has a facebook”

I couldn’t answer that one.

So the journey begins, it has been 8 weeks since I started the treatment.  The symptoms are easing every day, the bloating well I still look like I’m 9 months pregnant and it doesn’t help when people stop me and say “awww any day now?” so I will be glad when that settles.

But in another few weeks I will have to have another endoscopy to make sure all is clear from bacteria and ulcers then I can get back on the exercise wagon and start losing weight.

I never thought I would hear myself saying those words...EVER!

Monday, 6 June 2011

Monsters new words.

This is little Monster Mission, he will be 3 in a matter of days (if he makes it that is).  He has grown up so quickly, it seems like two minutes since I gave birth to him.  We have watched him learn to walk, talk, and potty train and now he has been accepted, to start nursery in September.

The excitement is all just too much, he asks everyday “Is it today I put my uniform on and go to school?” September is such a long time away, so we spend our days planning and playing.  Learning to copy letters and trying so very hard to spell his name.

But there is a small, well tiny habit we need to get Monster out of before he hits school; he has this tendency to copy what other people say.  I know this is completely normal, but he is very selective about what he says, where he says it and when he says it.

Example, his new favourite words are Arse Pain, Bugger, Boobies, Miserable Sod, etc, you get the jist.

So when we were shopping at our local store, Monster squeezed past an elderly gentleman, who huffed and puffed and muttered “Children these days have no manners”.  Monsters’ hearing is crap hot for his age, and he wandered off to pick his sweeties.  When he returned to the queue, the elderly gentleman was sorting his change out, Monster stood next to the man, I prayed he wouldn’t say anything, it didn’t work, and no one was in upstairs, they weren’t listening to me.

Monster placed his money and sweets on the counter, and said to the lady behind the counter “You shouldn’t let that Miserable sod come in here anymore” *ground open up now* I could have died.

The lady behind the counter was crying with laughter and she promised him that she wouldn’t let him in anymore.

The next day we were at our local Asda, Monster loves chatting to the cashier smiling, chatting away.  This cashier was only a young girl, Monster took his chance, Chatting away he told her “You have very nice Boobies” Oh god here we go again, I apologised to the poor blushing girl and told Monster to behave. That didn’t work; he kept looking at her chest and saying they are like Katy Perry’s cake boobies. (If you haven’t watched the video for California Girls, then watch it, it’s his fave at the moment).

I couldn’t get out of Asda quick enough; I actually thought we would be thrown out at one point.  I explained to Monster that he wasn’t allowed to say things like that.  He looked at me and said “they were nice like bouncy balls, not like yours”  Thanks son, make your mum feel better why don’t you.

The icing on the cake was when teenage mission got home; Monster was playing with his blocks when Teenage Mission decided to knock his tower over (as big brothers do).

Monster turned to him and said “You stupid Gay boy” my boys are so affectionate to each other, when teenage mission continued to torment him, monster shouted “Right arse pain, I am going to kick your bum” he launched himself at his brother.

*picture the scene* Teenage mission is roughly about 5”2 in height monster is about 3 foot, just the right height to cause some serious discomfort.

Let’s just say Teenage mission will not be tormenting his brother again.

As for monster, well the outbursts they still happen and it’s normally with words he knows he is not allowed to say, but you really can’t help but chuckle inside.

I hope this phase goes before he starts school, I would pray but no one every listens.

Sunday, 5 June 2011

Love and Marriage

It has been a lovely long weekend in the Mission Household; we went to a beautiful wedding on Friday (just me and daddy all alone).  It felt very strange, having four kids the only alone time we have is when we are in bed at night and that’s for about 5 minutes before one of us (normally me falls asleep).

But spending some alone time together was quite nice, I know I moan about him a lot and he can be a proper pain in the bum, but we had an amazing time together.  Watching the bride and groom looking so in love, all the guests were having an amazing time and then something caught the corner of my eye.

It was Daddy Mission looking at me, I looked around just to check there wasn’t some gorgeous woman standing beside me, and nope he was definitely looking at me.   I asked him what was wrong.  He smiled and said “Nothing’s wrong”  I didn’t believe him so I nipped to the loo to make sure my hair wasn’t sticking up, or that I didn’t have lipstick on my teeth.  Everything was fine, so what was he looking at.

I went back into the reception just in time for the first dance; the way the bride and groom looked at each other was so lovely.  Then it dawned on me, the last time I remember him looking at me like that was our wedding 8 years ago.

I remember it so well, we had such a beautiful day, I didn’t want our wedding to ever end, but that’s a bride’s prerogative.

At the end of the night, we chatted all the way home it was probably the first time in ages we actually got to talk without someone interrupting us.  Don’t get me wrong I would NEVER be without the kids, but it was nice to catch up and chat.

Sadly the flip side to the weekend, was finding out that friends of ours are getting a divorce.  They had been married for about 15 years and been together for about 20 years.  It was heartbreaking, they were such an amazing couple, well respected, they adored each other and everyone could see that.

Apparently he had his head turned by a younger, slimmer model.  I don’t know how any man could turn his back on 3 beautiful albeit grown up children, and a loving wife after 20 years of being together.  I know I probably shouldn’t blame this younger model but I do, apparently she chased him, sending 20 texts a day, following him around like a puppy dog.  He is just as much to blame, for falling for this woman.

But I just DONT get it, why?  Why when you know someone is married, do you pursue the person? 

When I was younger my nan used to say “If you meet a man and he is already with someone, no matter how unhappy he says he is just WALK AWAY”.  She was right, a few years later I met a man, he was charming and very sweet, he actually made my head spin, but once I found out he had a girl friend, it didn’t matter how charming he was, I walked away.  A few years later I found out he had cheated on his Girlfriend about 30 times.

I think what I am trying to say is life has a funny way of turning out sometimes.  I would love to say that we will be together forever, when we got married it was forever, but people change.  How do I know some younger or older model, prettier and slimmer than me (that’s not hard) isn’t going to pursue my husband?

But what I do want to say is I adore my husband, I don’t tell him very often that I do, but we tell each other every day that we love each other, he still holds my hand when out walking and he still looks at me like he did when we first met 14 years ago.

He still kisses me on the head when I’m asleep (I know this because he wakes me up) and he sends the cutest texts in the world when I’m not expecting them.

To him I am eternally grateful for him being the main breadwinner of our family, he has given me four amazing little people and he has nursed me when I have been ill.  He is my true hero, my soul mate and my one true love (in fact I still get butterflies when I see him).

If anyone ever tried to turn his head, I would hope he would remember that I may not be slim, sexy anymore, but those lines on my tummy mark every nine months I carried our children, the little lumps and bumps I have on my body are from the extra weight I still can’t shift from carrying the children and those lines under my eyes are from the sleepless nights.

I’m still the same person he fell in love with 14 years ago, smile and all.  Every day I count my blessings that I have him in my life, and I hope he still feels the same way.

Monday, 9 May 2011

Happy Birthday to The Missions

Wow, 12 months old today.  It only seems like yesterday, when one of the mum's at school stopped me and commented about how funny my blog was.  Little did I know that 12 months worth of ramblings later, that I would be part of an amazing little blog community?

Yes we fall out, people take things without asking and there is a bit of back biting, but hey that is just the average day in my life, I have 4 little sisters so falling out is expected, taking things without asking, isn’t right but sisters still do it all the time and back biting well let’s just say the last girl who tried it, looked pretty hot cover in orange juice (purely accidental).

But anyway we have had our ups and downs like most families, we have laughed and cried, but most of all I have loved every millisecond.  We have made some amazing new friends, we have reviewed a lot of stuff, and we have been asked to take part in some amazing events.

I love blogging, it’s like an extension of my little family, we laugh, we cry and we sometimes disagree, but we are family and we stick together like glue.  Through thick and thin, for better, for worse etc etc.

Yes, I know I’m rambling now but what I really wanted to say was “Thank You”, for taking the time to read my blog, for helping out when things got tough and for just being there for us.

I adore all of my old friends and new ones, and I hope that we will still be here in 12 months time.

I would like to say a massive Thank you to the Handpicked Media Team, they are all amazing and so lovely, they took my blog on and we have shared some amazing experiences and for that I am extremely grateful to be able to work with them.

So it’s time to party, help yourself to nibbles, wine and homemade chocolate fudge cake (I made it myself) and thanks once again for being amazing.


Mummy, Daddy, Teenage, Drama, Princess and Monster Mission xxx

Tuesday, 3 May 2011

Me Me Me - Meme

Right the lovely Hannah over at @MetalMummy has tagged me into the Meme and quite frankly it would be rude not to take part.

Plus this eases me back into blogging, which I so want to be able to do more of each day.  So I had better get on and answer her lovely questions.

If you could go back in time and relive one moment, what would it be?

Wow just one, errmmm well the days that I gave birth to each of my four children would be high on the list.  As well as the day I met my lovely husband, because without him they wouldn’t be here. (Ok his contribution was small, but much needed).

If you could go back in time and change one thing, what would it be?

I am a huge believer in Karma and fate.  I believe that our lives, have already been mapped out for us and we just have to make the best of every situation.  Saying that I would go back to the day, when my great granddad died.  He was a huge part of my life and I never got to the hospital on time to say goodbye.  So technically, I wouldn’t change anything because he was really sick, but I would go back and give him a huge hug and a kiss and say goodbye properly. *wipes away the tears*

What Movie/TV character do you most resemble in personality?

Wow, errmmm people say I’m a mother earth character, so it would have to be the little plump fairy godmother, from Disney’s Cinderella. ( I look a bit like her too).

What TV/Movie character would you most like to be?

Bloody hell, right Rachel from friends, we are already so alike I am a bit ditsy (only sometimes) but she is so bloody gorgeous. I wouldn’t mind just a bit of her gorgeousness.

If you could push one person off a cliff and get away with it, who would it be?

It would have to be the drama queen Jordan, she gets on my nerves all the time.  Arggggg.

Name one habit you want to change in yourself?

It would have to be my day dreaming, it gets me into so much trouble.  I wouldn’t give it up all together, maybe just for a few hours a day.

Describe yourself in one word.


Describe the person who named you in the Meme in one word?


Why do you blog? (Answer in one sentence)

Because I love writing and sharing a part of my life with anyone who loves reading it.

Name at least three people to send this meme to, and then inform them.





Sunday, 1 May 2011

Mummy had a wobble.

I feel like I should be having some sort of therapy, sitting in a circle and standing up when it was my turn, saying:

My name is Lena aka Mumonamission and I haven’t blogged for three weeks.

Listening for the gasps around the room, then all the whispering starts, “How can she call herself a blogger?”

In truth, I couldn’t blog; I was having some sort of confidence crisis.  I have always had a dream of becoming a writer, (yes I know, my grammar isn’t too hot) but my blog was my baby.  I loved turning it on in the morning and having my Dear Diary moments.

Sadly it was all gone, even the kids and their funny ways couldn’t get me to open the laptop and start typing.

In truth it wasn’t just my blog that suffered this crisis; it was my business, my writing and my life in general.   I know that sounds so over dramatic, but that was just the way I was feeling.  I withdrew from Twitter and facebook and locked myself away in the hope that this feeling would simply just go away.

I couldn’t find a way out, even Princess and her “consplosion” (she meant Explosion) comment couldn’t get me writing.

Thankfully, one person who has never really taken an interest in my writing made me see what I had been missing all along.  My lovely hubby, the man who is obsessed with his baby blue camper van actually sat down and read one of my first posts.  He was actually laughing and turned to me and said “why have you stopped?”  I just cried, and I couldn’t stop.

 I didn’t know what had happened; he gave me the biggest hug and told me that I was his inspiration.  Before he had met me he hadn’t dared to dream.  He told me that he was so proud of me and everything that I had achieved in my life.  From the kids, the blog to setting up the VA Business, he said he was so proud and that I should be too.

So I decided late last night that A Mum on a Mission blog was to have an overhaul, as well as Mummy Mission herself.

So I will be dusting off the cobwebs, redesigning the blog webpage, updating the VA Business site and blog and also sorting out my life, by taking part in an amazing weight loss programme from Harley Street.  (Which I am so excited about)

It has taken three weeks for me to come to the conclusion, that I am a good person.  I am a good writer (well I think so) and I will make a success of my business.

In life sometimes it’s those baby steps we take that lead us to bigger and better things.  I am so blessed to have four beautiful children, a wonderful husband and amazing friends.  Anything else that comes my way will be a bonus.

Thanks for listening

Love you muchly


Silent Sunday

Monday, 11 April 2011

Mummy is a nominated MAD

Today has been a little stressful to say the least, working through the pain of having an irritating stomach ulcer isn’t my idea of fun (but it could be worse).  Any after a quick trip to Chester I came home to a message on Facebook.

It made me smile straight away, it was from my lovely Boss and Friend @Beckicklesie she had told me that I had be nominated for a MAD Blogger award.  My heart did a 365 degree flip, I raced over to find out it wasn’t just the one, it was an amazing FIVE!

Best Family Life Blog, Best New Blog, Best MAD Blog Writer, Blogger of the Year and Most Inspiring Blogger 

Don’t get me wrong I don’t expect to even receive an award; just to be nominated means the world to me.

I have always been very protective over my blog; it’s like an extension of my family.  You could say it was another one of my kids. 

I remember the first day I started blogging; my first post was the 9th May 2010.  So not even being 12 months old we have achieved a lot, and to even be nominated for a MAD Blogger award means a lot.

I have come a long way in 12 short months, from starting my blog to now being a writer for          Brew Drinking Thinkings .  So a massive thank you goes out to everyone who believed in me and the Missions.

I would also like to say a MASSIVE Thank you to the lady who gave me the biggest opportunity of my life @Beckicklesie who is editor and chief behind the amazing Brew Drinking Thinkings and to the team behind @HandPickedMedia who showcase my blog on their wonderful site.

I also write with the most amazing team, so if you over at the MAD Nomination page, I think you should give each of these ladies a nomination because I adore all of them.

Thank you all again so much and if you haven’t voted yet and you like my little blog then pop on over to and throw a few nominations my way.

Love you all lots


Nivea Sun Kids and The Missions

We all know how important it is for our little ones to cover up in the sun.  It’s no different in the Mission household; just ask any of the Missions.

Princess, Put your hat on if you’re going outside, Monster take your water and play under the gazebo, Drama, put the sun cream on and put a t-shirt over that bikini.  I’m known as moaning mummy on a sunny day because I’m constantly watching out for the first signs of sunburn or worse sunstroke.

Every year from April to September the Missions are out in our Campervan, so it is vital that I found a sun cream that will protect their delicate skin.

Whenever we go away camping the same checklist comes out, Hats, Sun Cream, Little pop up Sun tent, water bottles, you get the idea.   This year as we are preparing to go away little Princess was watching as i loaded the bags.  "Mummy why dont cows, sheep and pigs get sunburnt?"

"Because they have thicker skin, than us" I replied  She skipped off end of conversation...So i thought.

"Mummy...I have been thinking and the reason why they dont is because they roll about in poo all day"  she proudly announced

"How did you work that out?"  I asked her  "Well, you see they all are very stinky so they must roll around in Poo, and that must be there sun cream".

She does have a valid point, farm animals are a bit smelly.

So off she trotts and comes back with this...

Yep you guessed it...Cow Poo!

I had to stop her from putting it on her face. 

I was thinking more along the lines of Nivea Sun for kids, but whatever floats your boat.

Extra TLC for those little darlings...

NEW NIVEA SUN Kids Pure & Sensitive

Trust NIVEA SUN® to help keep sensitive souls protected in the sun...the latest innovation from the experts at NIVEA is 100% free from perfume, colourants and preservatives helping to reduce the risk of skin allergies and especially developed for kids’ sensitive skin.

The new launch from the UK’s No.1 in children’s sun care * still offers all of the usual NIVEA SUN benefits but has been developed for the most sensitive skin, ensuring the little ones can enjoy the sun. Parents can also rest assured as the formula is dermatologically approved and hypo-allergenic.

Produced only in the very high protection of SPF 50+ and offering immediate protection unique to NIVEA SUN this extra gentle formula  helps  keep the most sensitive skin safer in the sun...even those prone to skin allergies

With the highest quality UVA and UVB protection system it helps protect immediately against sunburn and long-term skin damage while the very water resistant formula helps keep kids sensitive skin protected on land and sea! 

Available in both lotion and spray format so kids can be covered in the easiest way possible and get back to causing mischief!

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***NB:  This is a Sponsored Post

Sunday, 3 April 2011

No Returns

Why is it only a married woman can see a wedding car and mutter "Silly Fool".

I love my husband dearly, i do honestly but sometimes he drives me to distraction.

But there are two sides to a marriage, the before and the after.  So as an experienced "Married" woman of 8 years ( i know it feels like an eternity)  im going to walk the "Unmarried" ones amongst us into the delights of Marriage.


This is the nice bit, the flowers, the chocolates, the wooing and the unlimited cuddles and kisses.  Its like they lull you into a false pretence.

A bit like the child catcher scene from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang...You know the one.  He lulls the children out of the basement with the promise of sweets and nice things and then BANG Freedom gone!

Well OK my hubby didn't lull me out of the house with the promise of a creme egg, but everything did change when we got married.

So lets take a look at the other side.


Hubby then turns in to neanderthal man, he may as well hit you over the head with a club and drag you off to the bedroom. 

When you become a "wife" you suddenly get this whole new job description, Washing, Cleaning, Wifely duties etc

A woman can clean the house from top to bottom and the hubby will still come home and say "What have you done all day?"

After speaking to a more "experienced wife" my nan, she assured me that the hubby doesn't get any better with age.

So i thought i would check the wedding contact or Marriage Certificate as its other wise known.  Checking through it carefully, there doesn't seem to be any small print.  In fact its lacking in any kind of description at all, so in the light of this i thought i would add my own.

  1.  When you first get married, the romantic bone in your hubbys body will last for another week or so before married mode kicks in.

  2. All household duties will become property of the wife, and everything will be referred to as "YOURS", Eg "Your Dishwasher", "Your Kitchen" etc and so on.

  3. Ironing and washing will become your friend at the weekend.

  4. If you sit in his favourite place on the sofa then be prepared to be moved as soon as he wants to sit down.

  5. He will think of a loving pet name for you, Mine is "Barbara" yes as in Barbara Royle from the TV programme the Royle Family.  He thinks its funny to come home and get little Monster to shout "Put the Kettle on Barbara" *its not funny*

  6. It becomes his god given right to leave dirty underwear, clothes and towels all over the house, just to give you something to do.

  7. He becomes unable to perform any task that's not classed as a "Man's Job" Eg making the bed, bringing the washing off the landing or sorting out the kids.

  8. When asking him to perfom "Manly Jobs" you must approach the subject with caution as not to scare this poor defenseless man folk.

  9. When it's his turn to cook, which is once a week and generally on a Saturday he reaches for the phone and calls for takeaway.

  10. The remote control becomes his sole property, Soaps, girlie programmes are just not allowed (unless its Glee) then he pretends he's not watching but you know he is really.

I could probably go on all night, but i won't you see as my nan always says as long as they don't treat you badly or cheat on you then sorry chick marriage is for life.

That truly applies to my marriage, as much as the lovely Daddy Mission drives me around the bend, i wouldn't have him any other way.  I wouldn't want him to do the washing or the cooking.  For one he doesn't know were the washing machine is and he would probably turn everything pink and two he cant cook (unless its out of a tin)

So Daddy Mission is for keeps, and i now have the right to roll my eye's at every potential bride, and remember my  most beautiful day in the world, before i come crashing back down to reality and carry on performing my wifely duties.

Right Dishes to wash and kids to sort.




Thursday, 31 March 2011

The Day Buster Came To Play

We don’t have pets as a rule in the Mission house. Well let’s face it we have far too many kids to even contemplate another mouth to feed. We have had pets when the oldest two were little but, they didn’t last for very long.

I mean we had a Tortoise, called Maisey she was lovely and very tiny, but sadly her life came to a sad end after just 2 years.  She died of a nasty disease with a very long name, apparently when certain well know pet stores started selling these very expensive pets they failed to vet them properly and the whole batch was contaminated.  Meaning her poor life was doomed from the beginning, we have had 3 Hamsters, all vicious little buggers and a few Gold Fish which failed to make it back from the pet store.

Come to think of it I think we need to find a better Pet Shop.

Anyway, my grandparents have recently moved back to the UK after living in Ireland for a few years.  They have got the craziest dog in the world called Buster and Monster Mission adores him.

They play like they have known each other all their little lives, its amazing how quickly Monster too to Buster really.

So last week my Nan asked us to mind buster for a few hours whilst their Landlord came around to do some checks and repairs.  Monster was so excited; as soon as he woke up he told me what he was going to do with Buster.

“We will play on the slide and the swing and the trampoline” he announced over breakfast, as soon as we got back from school he demanded we went across the road to pick Buster up.

Woah, it was like having another child in the house, he was rushing about everywhere, sniffing and trying to get into places the kids don’t even attempt.

After 10 minutes of sliding on the laminate and bumping into the radiator Buster gave up and went in to the garden to play with Monster.

20 minutes had passed and I heard “oh dear, I’m telling my mummy off you”.  I went outside to investigate.  “What’s wrong?” I asked Monster.  “Buster has done a POO!” “That’s not nice is it mummy?” trying my hardest to explain to Monster that dogs really don’t care where they poo.

Trying to clean it up was the hardest part, oh THE SMELL! If you imagine changing another child’s bum when they have poo’d yep that’s what I was going through.

It was horrific, I can deal with most things but dog poo...Bleugh.

I managed to clean it up and then it was time for Buster to go home.  I felt that sense of relief, you know the one when they mischievous child had been for a play date and you can’t wait for them to go home...Yep that one.

Monster and I sat in the garden and we talked about getting a pet dog.  “so Monster shall we get a dog like buster?” he looked at me like I had two heads.

He turned to me and said “Mummy are you kidding?” “That dog poo’d in the garden, on my trampoline and he wouldn’t go down my slide...No thanks”

Later on that evening when Princess arrived home from school, Monster took great pleasure showing her all the things that Buster had done.  Horrified by the thought he had poo’d in the garden Princess came in and asked for some “diffinfectand”  “what’s that lovely?” I asked.

She pointed to the cupboard under the sink. “Its in there” I was with her now, she wanted the Zoflora Disinfectant from under the sink.  “Why do you want it?” I asked. “So we can clean the grass, the baby wipes just don’t work” she replied.

Looking a bit confused, I went outside to see what they had been up to. Oh dear, they had only gone and started cleaning the patch of grass, that Buster poo’d on with a whole pack of baby wipes.  Oh well at least the grass was clean.

Tuesday, 29 March 2011

Alternative Easter

Easter is a fab time of the year, Chocolate egg's, Easter Bonnets and Hot Cross buns.  This year i have made it my Mission to find alternative Products for easter.  Egg's are great but very boring sometimes so here are my top five finds:

  1. The Easter Chocolate Pizza,  Now i was given one of the Normal Pizza's to review and it was amazing.  Looking over at @boxchoc website the other night for inspiration they have an amazing Easter Pizza.

  2. Marshamallow Kebab: this was an amazing little find at our local Home and Bargin store.  Its little chick's and spring lambs all on a stick.  The kids loved these and they are adorable.

3. Next has to be gorgeous Jelly Lollies, you can get them at any Wilkinsons, Poundland and Home and Bargin stores and the kids love a bit of Jelly.

4. As a special Easter treat, Haribo have brought out a [lastic egg filled with some of their favourite treats.  These are a fab alternative to chocolate.

5. Lastly has to be some amazing little Sherbet egg's.  Still in keeping with the theme of Easter, but watch out for the Fizz.

So thats it that is my alternative Easter.If you have a good look around your local High street you may find some more anazing alternative to the chocolate egg.

HAPPY EASTER (well almost)



DISCLAIMER:  No one has asked me to review these products and i have not recieved any of these products in return for writing this post.

Friday, 25 March 2011

Project 365 - Day 4

This is technically Daddy Missions baby.  His Name is Oscar Van and he is a 1966 Split Screen VW Campervan.  Thsi makes me smile every time i think of the special trips we have made in this little van.

Thursday, 24 March 2011

Project 365 - Day 3

This little Monster, has the ability to make me smile no matter what he does.  He makes me proud everyday.

Project 365 - Day 2

My Super Star Grandad carved these birds and they take pride of place in the garden.  Its funny to watch the other birds stop by and start talking to them.

Project 365 – Things That Make Me Proud.

I know I have left it a bit late to join in Project 365, as we are already in March.  So I decided to join from one of the most important days of my life 22nd March 2011.  Not only did all of my dreams come true this day as I became a PUBLISHED writer, but it was also the day of my 8th Wedding Anniversary.

My Project 365, will be about the positive things in my life, things that make me smile, People who make me proud and everything else along the way.

Project 365 - Day 1

This is me, the 22nd March 2011, the day all of my dreams came true.  You can check out all the lastest, news, views, reviews and celebrity gossip over at the brilliant

Check us out today. Xxx

Saturday, 19 March 2011

One Word!

I seem to have been tagged by the lovely Vicky who is also @mumfordnsons85 the theme of this Meme is One Word.

Now me, I struggle to find one word every day so I hope you lot are better at this than I am.

I asked the family first, just so I wasn’t left with no one responding to this request.  I asked Daddy, can you describe me in one word? I could see his mind working overtime his response “Mummy” Well he is right I suppose.

So off I went and asked the kids:

Teenage Mission answered “Bank” well hmmm I have been called worse things.

 Drama Mission answered “Caring” that’s more like it (she got a cuddle)

Princess not wanting to miss out on cuddles answered “lovely” (she got big cuddles too)

Now for my hardest task getting Monster to describe me in one word.  This little man is going through the final months of his terrible two’s so he could come out with anything really.

Monster answered “boobies” well it could have been worse I suppose.

So now it’s your turn ONE WORD, go on how would you describe this Mummy.

Please try to be nice. 


Mummy x

Friday, 18 March 2011

I love what i do.

I consider myself to be one of the lucky ones.  Not having to commute to work every day, no traffic jams, no office politics, no boss to scream and shout at me.  Someone asked me a few days ago what I love the most about working from home.

I didn’t have to even think about it, I had a million and one things running around my head so here are my top 10 things I love about working from home:

  1. In the summer I can take my laptop out into the garden and work.  Not only is this beneficial to my own well being, but i can think back to those days when I worked in stuffy offices with no air conditioning.  I can also have a sneaky ice lolly because no one is watching me (well except for that dodgy neighbour)

  2. I no longer have to worry about the washing, if it’s sunny I can step away from my desk and put the washing out and if it starts to rain I can step away from my desk and bring it back in.

  3. I never get to work and think “Shit, I forgot to put the bin out” or “Crap, I forgot my lunch”

  4. I can work wherever I want to.  In the conservatory, in the kitchen, in the garden or even in Asda!  Yep that’s right folks with the art of modern technology I have the ability to answer emails, even when I’m doing my weekly shop.

  5. Distractions, there are hundreds of them every day in the office.  At home I have none, well apart from little monster but he is a welcome distraction.  I don’t have to get caught up in the office bitch fest and I certainly don’t have to worry about getting caught by the office creep!

  6. Childcare fee’s, these were the Bain of my life.  I seemed to be working just to pay these, no more!  I can do both school runs and be there in the holidays.  Even when the school calls to say little Princess is sick I can go without the worry of a boss breathing down my neck.

  7. A little siesta, these were never possible in the office and only ever possible now if monster is poorly as he never sleeps in the day.  But just to curl up on the sofa and have a 10 minute power nap, wow it really does work.

  8. Office wardrobe, in the office these consisted of either a smart uniform or a simple dress code.  Not on my watch my office dress code is anything from PJ’s, hoodies and jeans, or baggy jumpers and leggings and maybe the odd pair of tracksuit pants.  Unless I’m meeting with a client or networking then it’s back to smart and sensible.

  9. Working whenever I want to.  I suffer from insomnia from time to time, so I will put this time to good use by finishing clients files, sorting out my own paperwork or even doing a bit of blogging.

  10.  The greatest thing about working from home is the freedom. I can eat and drink at my desk, I can talk to my sister on the phone, I can work from the local coffee shop if I need some fresh air, I can be as creative as I want to be with my work and no one will tell me I can’t do it, I can nip to the park for a game of footie with monster as long as I have my phone with me for important emails, I can do whatever I want and I LOVE IT.

So that’s it all those things above are all the things I love because I am extremely lucky enough to be able to work from home.  There are downsides, but the ups outweigh the down.

I have always wanted to be able to work from home, we could never afford for me to be a SAHM, so I had to work for the sake of my family, but now I do work from home and I love what I do.

check us out at

Bad Mummy Club - Bad Mother - Welsh Mum

A big warm welcome to our Bad Mummy club today to the lovely @welshmumwales  who has a fab little blog so let the plea begin.

A bad mother

When I received the honour a couple of days ago and was asked to do a blog post about being a bad mother.  At first I have to be honest I was absolutely thrilled and then panic began to set in and I questioned, ‘Am I really a bad mother?’ ‘How awful to be placed in that category!’

I suppose the answer is really that it depends how you feel about yourself and it is really only you that can truly quantify this status. The way I feel woe betide any mother criticising another mother about being a bad mother, they absolutely have no right it is hard enough as it is.  We all suffer different challenges on a daily basis as it is and quite frankly who are we to judge?

So here goes, the reasons why I think that I am a bad mother:

* I did not give birth naturally, it was via a caesarean on both occasions.

* I went back to work when both my children were 6 months.

* I work hard and often don’t get home in time to put my children to bed.

* My children say to me on a daily basis, mummy can you take me to school.  Unfortunately, I can’t – bad mother!!

* We can’t invite children over to play after school, as I am not home in time.

* I have sent my children into Nursery when they are not 100% so at least I’ll get a few hours in work and not lose my job and then wait for the phone call!

* I have given my children Nurofen to go into Nursery and not told Nursery!

* I have demanded a lot off my Nursery as I am paying for it and also I feel guilty about leaving my children there.

* I let me children wear clothes which are obviously too small for them as I haven’t got the time or money to buy new ones

* I have given my children chocolate for breakfast

* I kept my daughter in pull-ups to go to bed because I couldn’t bear the thought of getting up mid night to change beds.

Thursday, 17 March 2011

Mummy's got a secret - Brew Drinking Thinkings!

Mummy has been leading a double life and now is the time to come clean.  No I’m not really a middle aged man! I have found it so hard to keep this a secret, but here goes I am *drum roll*



Brew Drinking Thinkings


Brew Drinking Thinkings, or BDT to those in the know, is a magazine style uber-blog compiled by some of the best blogging greats from around the web. The aim is to create a central hub where women who don't get a lot of time due to work or parenting, for example, can get the best of the blogosphere and the internet in one place. Features will also include craft classes, service booking systems and shops as well as articles and feature posts. 

It has been so hard to keep this a secret.  We launch on the 21st March so make sure you are all registered.  We have @BrewDrinkThink Twitter page and a fabulous Facebook Page.

So what are you all waiting for?  Pop over and register, follow us on Twitter and like us on facebook.  We wouldn’t want you to miss out on any of the gossip now would we.

Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Monster and the old Man

Kids have this unbelievable knack of saying the wrong things at the wrong times.  Well maybe not the wrong things.  It’s just case that they haven’t heard the saying engage the brain before you open your mouth. I'm guilty of this too you know.

Take Little Princess for a prime example, she is always doing it.

We were once in Asda, browsing in the cake aisle (as you do) when princess spotted a lady that was a little over weight shall we say.  She was buying weight watchers cakes.  Princess looked at me and announced to the whole aisle “why is that lady buying low fat cakes?” trying hard to shut her up I told her “maybe she is on a diet” Princess shook her head and said “don’t you think it’s a bit late for that” .  We made a quick exit from the cake aisle.

Another example was a quick trip to boots, Princess again.  We were looking at the skin care when a nice man who was dressed as a lady (politically correct term fails me) was also looking at wrinkle creams. Holding no punches, Princess said “Mummy, why is that man dressed as a lady?”  The lady/man looked at me, I couldn’t explain.  So I said “well people dress in different ways sweetie.”  Thinking she would be happy with that explanation, we moved down the aisle, but no that wasn’t good enough for Princess as she went on to say “well if he wants to be a lady, he should have had a shave first!”  Oh ground open up please, biting my lip trying hard not to burst out laughing, we moved out of the aisle.

Princess still not content, with the lady/man.  She told the shop assistant “There is a man dressed as a lady over there; you should show him were all the lady stuff is because he isn’t fooling anyone”.

Kids also have a knack of repeating things you really didn’t think they heard you say.

Like one of my neighbours, is well let’s say has a very lived in face.  When talking to the neighbour one day, Princess again was staring at this neighbour, so much so the neighbour stopped talking to me and asked Princess was she ok?

Princess replied “yes I’m fine thank you; I am just looking to see what lives in your face?” Pardon the said neighbour replied “well my mummy said you had a lived in face and I just wanted to see what lived in it?”  Bright red and full of apologise, explaining she overheard me talking about someone else with the same name as her.

I couldn’t get away quick enough.

So you can imagine my surprise, when this morning Monster started to copy his sisters knack of dropping mummy in it.

Walking home from school, we have a lot of older people who always say good morning and smile.  So when a rather grumpier old man walked towards us, Monster was quick to comment “Look at the state of his face?” praying he wasn’t talking about the grumpy old man I asked “who’s face sweetie?”  “His face” he shouted pointing at the man walking towards us.  I couldn’t look the man in the eye.  I told monster it was rude to point and shout, he said “well look at him the miserable bugger”.

I could have died!

I have a few more years yet before Monster and Princess grow out of this not engaging the brain process, so until then I will be keeping them under lock and key.

Lots of love

Mummy x

Monday, 14 March 2011

The Teenage Years

They say when you have your first child that they will always be your baby and it’s very true.  This year my baby turned 13. *starts sobbing* Yes that’s right Teenage Mission actually became a TEENAGER!

Everyone warned me that my life would now resemble a scene from Kevin and Perry, he would wander around with his knuckles scraping on the floor and I would have to learn a whole new language of grunts and moans.

So I waited...Nothing.  What was I expecting, my lovely mild mannered son to turn into an alien? Well yes pretty much.  The day came and went still nothing, maybe he was a faulty one?  Maybe this wasn’t going to happen to my son?

A week passed by and he was still pretty normal, maybe he was part of a faulty batch of teenagers.  Maybe they left out the moody Teenager button?

I looked through some pictures, his hair was long, but it had been that way since he was 11.  His speech was pretty normal, one grunt for yes, two for no...All normal.  He spends hours on computer games and refuses to do his homework...Still normal.

Then it dawned on me, being 13 didn’t make him a teenager, he had been one since he was 11.  Good god why didn’t I see the signs he went from this

To this from the ages of 10 to 11.  God what a difference a year makes.

He had grown up, my baby was no more.

I remember the first time I laid eyes on all 8lb 12 oz of him.  He wasn’t a chunky baby; he was very long and had a great appetite, something’s never change.

I remember looking at him thinking “I made you”.  He was the most perfect little man in the whole wide world.  He has had his moments, try feeding every 2 hours from birth, not sleeping until he turned 3 and don’t get me started on the accidents.

At the age of 4 months he decided to test my motherly skills by contracting German measles, he was sent for blood tests and was prodded and poked by countless doctors.  One good thing to come out of it was the doctor said his immune system would be amazing and he would never get normal childhood illnesses.  That bit was true he was the only child from a class of 20 not to get chicken pox.

At the age of 2, his clever daddy decided to let him play with some pennies and guess what?  Yep he swallowed a five pence piece, back to the hospital.  We were told to watch out for it in his nappy for 24 hours, yep that was my job to find it.

After that he grew up fairly normally, we had the trapped hands in the deck chair incident, the split head open on the fire place, oh and the bee sting in the Adams apple incident.  But yer mainly ok.

That was until he turned 12, this was the worst year of my little baby’s life.  He fell during a training session at Tae Kwon do and he went for a routine x-ray.  That’s when they found it; he had a mass in his right knee muscle. The doctors told us that it was pieces of cartilage breaking away from between his knee caps and attaching itself to his thigh muscle.  It was around about this time he was getting really bad pains, in every joint.  They would get hot, swell up and he would find it incredibly difficult to even walk.

I watched my lively little black belt go from active man to elderly man in 2 weeks.  Whatever it was, it was taking over his body at such a fast rate.  He had every test going and they still couldn’t find out what was causing the pain.

After visiting a specialist at our local children’s hospital we were told that it was because his cartilage between his knee caps was creating a fluid and this in itself was affecting his joints.

12 Months later and he is just getting back to his normal little active self, he still can’t play football or rugby, but at least he can move.  The Mass well we will be kicking its little ass out of his life as soon as he stops his current growth spurt. (he is 13 and 5”4 already).

My son, My Hero and he will ALWAY be my baby boy.

Friday, 11 March 2011

Bad Mummy Club - Can the next mummy please shuffle on forward?

Todays Bad Mummy joining our elite club is the lovely Emma over at @verynicethings who also has a lovely blog and an amazing website coming soon.

So lets see if this very busy mummy qualifies to join our Bad Mummy Club, bring on the Plea.

I here by announce on this blog my bid for bad mother status. It’s been a mad journey starting a business and looking after a fabulous, energetic two year old and here is my case for why I think I deserve my own quiet, wine drinking patch in BAD MUMMY CLUB.

Here is my case ;

1)      I crave quiet. Sometimes I just need 10 minutes peace. A time of stillness and nothing. Even if my daughter is quiet she is climbing on my head, pulling my hair, passing wind on my lap or (a fairly new one) giving me a wash like a cat would by licking her hands (possibly needed some might argue… then let me do it ALONE I say).

2)      I hate my cheery mummy voice – the sound of it drives me to distraction. Its not me (I’m naturally cynical, very sarcastic and not that upbeat ALL THE TIME).  Just the talking involved in getting shoes on, coat on and out the house drives me up the wall. Don’t get me wrong it would be spooky if all was quiet. But it seems that since my daughter can talk – I have developed a mother tongue I cannot stand – nothing like my normal standard which leads me neatly on to…

3)      Swearing. I have a mouth like a builder who has worked on building sites for years. Swearing is something I do (not proud of it – but it’s certainly a habit) and I confess that I try to curb it. But things just slip out. Recently after a particularly vocal getting ready for bedtime I noticed that I had not finished changing the bed. ‘SHIT, the bed!’ is now a phrase that my 2 year old takes delight in saying. Usually in quiet places.

4)      I am an amazing actress. It’s true. The uncountable amount of fake ‘phone calls’ I have made to the nursery to explain how naughty my daughter was being (much to her horror, as Miss Dawn and Miss Julie are not to be messed with ). If they were real phone calls my bill would be huge.

 “What’s that Miss Julie? You think she should eat her tea like a good girl and not chuck it on the floor? Or she won’t get to paint tomorrow? Ok I will tell her…”  I imagine you get the picture (Oscar winning potential)!

5)      I hate parent and toddler groups. I invent amazing excuses not to go or take up any invitations.  I know my daughter would probably LOVE it, but the thought of sitting in a village hall drinking crap coffee and eating a digestive whilst the kids fight over dog eared toys that really should be condemned is not my idea of a good time. I’m sure the mums are lovely (friends of mine swear they are just fantastic), but give me a free morning and I would rather go for a walk or feed the ducks … anything but that.

6)      Bribery and corruption are fast becoming features of the Blackman household. “Let me change your nappy and you can have a biscuit”, “If you eat your lunch you can watch Babe” the connections between bribe and task are irrelevant – which may lead to some interesting associations later in life…

7)      Wine #1 Sometimes I need a glass whilst she is watching In The Night Garden. Fact.

8)      Wine #2 Sometimes I let her drink water at the same time out of a plastic wine glass.

9)      Wine #3 If 1 & 2 are happening, we both clink our glasses together and say cheers.

Are we all agreed...*counts hands*  Welcome to the club your gold star is below.

Wednesday, 9 March 2011

Family Ties.

When little Princess came running out of school the other day she had a really important question to ask me.  I was thinking along the lines of “Mummy can we have sweets on the way home?” or “Mummy can Holly come for tea?” those sort of important questions.

Sadly not she asked “Mummy when are you and Daddy getting a DIVORCE?” *spits juice everywhere.*

“What?!!?” I asked (does this child know something I don’t?) Has Daddy been plotting a secret divorce behind my back and told the one person he knows, that would tell her mummy all her secrets in a heartbeat?

I start to check the bank statements...No abnormal behaviour so I sat Princess down for a little chat.

I asked princess why she thought mummy and daddy would ever get divorced, she went on to explain. Well someone I play with at school her mummy and daddy are getting a divorce and her mummy and daddy buy her lots of presents, so if you and daddy get one I can have lots of presents too.

I could see where she was coming from, it does sound appealing to a 4 year old.  Then she added that this little girl was getting a new step sister and brother and she wanted one too because they sound like fun.

I watched as her little mind raced through the whole situation, she thought a divorce was like winning the lottery (well for some people it is) after all you get rid of the dead wood you don’t particularly like anymore.

So I felt this was the time to explain to little princess how families can be a little different but they love each other all the same.

I explained that our family was a little different too. (How do you explain this to kids?) I explained that my daddy (her lovely granddad) wasn’t technically my daddy, “What do you mean?” her mind was racing again.

I explained that when myself and Auntie Paula were little our daddy went away to live with another family.  Then Nanny got married and had Auntie Hannah and Sarah and their daddy went away to live with another family.  The Nanny met Grandad and he loved us all so much he stayed forever and then got married.

Her little head looked like it was about to explode, she just sat there thinking...Wait for it!

“So Grandad isn’t your daddy?”  Yes he is, I explained because a real daddy loves you no matter what.  I went on to explain; just because a mummy and a daddy don’t love each other anymore doesn’t mean they don’t love their little children.

See my Daddy and Auntie Hannah’s Daddy never came back, they never called and they never sent birthday cards.  They were mean daddy’s (well I could have called them something else but she is only 4).  Whereas your friend is one of the luckiest little girls in the world because she has a mummy and a daddy that love her very much, but she also has a step mummy who also loves her lots too.

Here we go again...”So she has two mummy’s?”  Yes and the both love her lots and lots.

Finally she accepted that families were all different and it’s fine to be different.  Without a thought she gave me the biggest hug ever and said “Mummy I love you, and it’s ok I don’t want you and daddy to get a divorce” when I asked what had changed her mind she said “I would get very confused with too many mummy’s and daddy’s and I might forget to kiss one of them goodnight”

I have the upmost respect for Single Mummy’s and Daddy’s, Step parents and step siblings.  It’s hard enough growing up, but my gorgeous dysfunctional family make up for it.  I have never called my sisters “half sisters” because there simply not and I have always called my “step dad” DAD because that’s exactly what he is.

I have been asked in the past why, now I’m older do I still call him dad? And I will tell you what I tell them.  He has been there for me since I was 13 years old; he took on four little girls that weren’t his own.  He has loved us, wiped snotty noses, cleaned up sick and chased off terrible boyfriends just as a dad should and he will always be my dad.

In accordance with being politically correct I have 4 half sisters and a step dad, but who wants to be politically correct.  I have a mum and dad and four little sisters and I love them all the world and back again. (well sometimes)

So what if your family is different, so what if you have step brother, sisters, mums, dads and aliens (nope that’s just my family again) A family is a bond, a tie and they will be with you forever so be NICE.

God knows how I’m going to explain Elton John’s new baby.

Lots of love

Mummy xx

Saturday, 5 March 2011

Calm before the...Kids!

Silent Sunday

10 Things they don’t when you become a Mum - The School Years 4 - 11

The First Day:  This will consist of tears at the school gates and I’m not talking about the child.  As a parent you will shed tears when getting your child ready for school, on the way to school, at the school gates and even when they come home (but they are for different reasons).  You see your child first day at BIG school is a big occasion, after 4 years of tears, tantrums and drama’s, you will now get a bit of freedom from paying for childcare.

Friends:  At school your child will make many friends, they will come from a number of different back grounds and be all kinds of shapes and sizes and your child won’t care.  But beware every now and then when you ask your child the question “So who did you play with today?” Your child will say “NO ONE”.

What!  Your heart will sink into the pit of your stomach; you will start to imagine your poor child wandering around the playground all alone.  STOP! They are feeding mummy’s insecurities, of course they played with all of their friends as they did the day before and the day before that, they are playing mummy for a bit of sympathy.

Parties: Warning triangle, Primary school is the start of the “I want to invite the whole of the class parties” They won’t want to leave anyone out so be warned this will cost you, not just by your own child but from all the party invitations the child will receive.  TOP TIP: Go to your local Home & Bargain, Wilkinson’s or Pound land, get yourself a box and start to fill it with a mixture of boys and girls toys, that way you will never be caught out.

NITS: Whoa, now these little buggers will get EVERYWHERE, your house will look like a scene from an end of the world movie, you will all be smelling like toxic waste for a few hours, the bedding, towels and other items all have to be boiled washed and you and your children will smell like nit lotion for a week.

Parents Evening: A chance to meet your child’s teacher, a chance for her to be a little bit clever with the truth.  Teachers are clever, they can’t be seen to be criticising a child anymore, so if little Joe is a complete little sod in school they can’t tell you that.  Instead they will say something like “children all learn at their own pace” in other words “We can’t get him to do anything so we let him play all day”.

School Plays: One of the proudest moments in your life watching your little one up on the stage, even if they are just singing you will have a little tear in your eye and a hope that they won’t embarrass you AGAIN.  You know what I mean, kids don’t worry about being in front of 100 parents when they hitch their skirts up to fix their knickers or pump when it’s really quite and declare to everyone very proudly that it was them. You will slowly go a lovely shade of red and everyone will know that is YOUR child.

“Mum can so and so come for tea?”  That joyous sentence normally blurted out in front of the other and child and their mother, you will normally have the usual “not tonight darling we have to go out” ready and waiting.  But then your child will trip you up and expose your lies so you have to retreat and give in.

The one you don’t want them to play with:  As parents we all have a child we don’t want our kids to play with, he or she may always be in trouble at school.  Kids will ignore all your attempts to stop them from playing with this child so you had better hope they get fed up with the child before high school!

Childcare: This will cost you nearly all of your wages, it will be the cause of many sleepless nights and your child will either love it or hate it.

The School Term: Now every 6 weeks will come around very quickly indeed, the kids have more holidays than you can cope with (no wonder teachers are looking younger).  But there are terms that will cost you the most this is Christmas and summer term.  These are the terms when you generally buy presents for the teachers; ok a small box of chocolates and a cheap bottle of wine seem reasonable.  So when your child comes home from school with a list of gift he/she needs for their TEACHERS you will start to cry, you see they don’t generally just have one teacher these days they have two possibly three and then there are the teaching assistants, oh god it’s going to cost you!

There are so many more things I could have covered, there is the choosing of the high school, 11+, germs and illness the list is endless.  Someone once told me that school days are the best years of your life; I wish I would have listened more now, but I was at the back of the class playing at the time.

Lots of love

Mummy x

Friday, 4 March 2011

Bad Mummy Club - Week 4

Todays Bad Mummy Club post comes from the Lovely Hannah (who actually my little sis) she loved reading all your Bad Mummy Posts she wanted in on some bad mummy action.

So lets see if we should give this Little Mummy one of our gold stars:

Define a bad mum?

If giving him a bag of sweets and putting him in front of the TV with his favourite program (which I have on series link on my sky+ box) so I can steal 5 minutes to wash my hair, make and have a cup of tea or even just wash a few dishes then I am guilty as charged.

My son is 2 1/2, I work part time in a nursery and I am also 8 months pregnant. So whatever time I do get to myself (which if every mum sat down and worked it out it world probably add up to about an hour a day if we are lucky!) then I will do whatever it takes.

Being a mum is a full time job, we do days, nights, evening and weekends.   24 hours a day and regardless whether you are at work or on the loo if your child needs something then you are there.

I almost forgot to mention about the other child in my life my husband. We give into them just as much as the kids.

Don’t get me wrong I love being a mother and a wife

 I bake with my son

We go the park (regardless of the weather)

I read to him

I teach him his colours, shapes and numbers

We go the zoo, farm and the jungle gym

I love him unconditionally.

But on those odd occasions when I just don’t have the time or energy I GIVE IN.

Take night times for example my little treasure has never liked the word sleep.  What child does? And I know that he can get out of bed and come into my room in the middle of the night but it has got worse.  My night time consists of reading him a story then leaving him in his room to go to sleep most of the time he will just go off, but 4 nights out of 7 its back and forth putting him back to bed.

 Then I go to bed and I am just in a nice sleep when he comes in my room " mummy there’s a monster" i sleepily put him back to bed "there’s no monster sweet heart go back to sleep" I kiss him and tuck him back in then go back to bed. 10 min later " mummy mummy my need you to sit with me" "it’s time for bed now sweetheart go back to sleep mummy’s going to bed". This goes on and on untill about 4 in the morning when I snap and say "JUST GET INTO MY BED". I know, I shouldn’t but I need my sleep.

Then there are the dreaded meal times. OMG he was such a good eater when he was a baby i could give him anything and he would eat it but now it’s like a war. so I try and put good stuff on his plate but it’s just not that simple cause if that green stuff touches any of his other food he just won’t eat it. So I cheat with veggie fingers and carrot waffles (he will never know) But most of the time I give him whatever he will eat just to get him to eat anything.

So if all of this makes me a bad mum then where do I sign?