Thursday, 27 January 2011

Mummy’s Job Description



Being a mum is the greatest job in the world, getting the job can be hard.  You go for the interview, you meet your new work colleagues, and you spend ages waiting to hear if you got the job. Then someone important delivers the good news (That’s the easy bit done) all you have to do now is decide on a name!

If a mum had a job description it would read more like a copy of war and peace.  We have so many hats sometimes we forget which one is on.  So here are just a few of the jobs mummy is responsible for:

Mummy/Slave:  Generally shouted for when a servant is needed, such as the TV needs tuning over or that glass of juice is just too far out of reach.

Laundry Maid: The one, who picks it up, washes it, dries it, irons it and then puts it all away. 

Cook:  Cafe Mission opens at 6.30 in the morning and then closes about 8.30 just after Drama has finished her Toast.

Washer upper:  Duties can include scanning every room of the house for any dishes left in unusual places.

Hairdresser:  On call for daughters when they need emergency hair straightening or other such duties.

Fashion Police/Dresser:  On call 24/7 with growing daughters who knows what they will try and get away with wearing. Also repsponsible for making sure little ones look presentable for school, even though they will come home looking like they have been dragged around the school play ground by their hair!

Taxi:  This one hasn’t come into full force yet, but when a touch of rain is in the air and Drama refuses to go to school with “frizzy hair” the taxi has to take them to school. This also includes taking friends home after Play dates etc.

Nurse Maid: Duties will include working with sick, blood and snot.  Unsociable hours sometimes, but perks include a permanent parking space and seat at the doctors.

Cleaner: Toys, roller blades, shoes, bikes etc.  If it’s lying on the floor it’s your job to pick it up!

Nit Nurse:  This is a very occasional job, but the little buggers get everywhere so beds will need to be stripped, towels boiled washed and smelly Nit lotion to be applied to EVERYONE!

Mind Reader:  You will always be on step ahead of the game, knowing that their P.E kit is covered in mud and they need it for the next day.  Knowing when they need that top for a party on Saturday, the list is endless.

Occasional Dad: This applies when Daddy is busy being an important football manager on the play station or Xbox.  Mummy/Slave duties will double!

Bank Manager:  There are times when your children will expect paying for those imaginary chores they do around the house. They will quote this saying on various occasions “Mummmmm Can you lend me a fiver until I get my pocket money?”

Hotel Maid:  Your duties will include running a bath, making sure that there are clean towels to hand, making sure the bed is “Turned down” this includes the PJ’s being left out, but excludes a mint being left on the pillow.  This may also include a bedtime story!

Receptionist: You will take phone calls and rely messages, You will greet ones friends when they arrive for play dates , karaoke sessions etc and supply then with copious amounts of Juice then when it’s time to go home you will Taxi them back to their parents. (See Above)

Right now if I have Ieft anything off this Job description please feel free to add in the comments box after all us Mum’s have to stick together.  So do you still want the job?

Please note we are not an Equal Opportunities employer, we will not be expecting you to go on training sessions, we will not be expecting you to further your qualifications in any way, shape or form.  *small print if anyone called Andy Gray asks you to tuck something in for him please say no*

Lots of Hugs

 

Mummy Mission

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