Monday, 28 February 2011
Someone once told me that friends are like stars and although you can't always see them, you can be sure they're always there for you.
Like most of you I have a lot of friends, but only a handful I would call real friends. The one’s you know you could call in the middle of the night, the one’s you could trust with your deepest darkest secrets and the one’s that would listen to you moan for hours on end and then turn around and just give you a massive hug to make you feel loved.
I have the most amazing friends in the whole wide world, they make me smile every time they text, call, facebook me or even tweet me. I even have friends I haven’t met yet, but I know that when I do, it will be like we have been friends forever.
My oldest friends are the ones I love the most:
My little sister Hannah is one of my closest friends. She is godmother to my youngest two babies, we laugh, we cry and we had our baby boys within two weeks of each other.
My tiniest sister Kate, she is going to be godmother to my youngest baby monster, she is like my very own daughter (my mum had her when I was 15) she is always around when I need her.
My little cousin Netty, she is amazing, she gives the best advice and is always around to make me chuckle.
My oldest friend Poe, she has an amazing knack of making me smile, we have shared some fun times and sad times but I always know she is there for me when I need her and vice versa.
My oldest friend Lou, we used to get into trouble together. Sharing chocolate on the bus on the way to school and being friends from the age of 4 I think that makes us best friends.
I suppose we have lot to thank modern technology for, before Facebook, twitter, Bebo and My Space where did those people we went to school with go? Family members we lost and ex boyfriends we forgotten about.
I personally have to thank Facebook for:
Michelle Henderson , Mel Simmons, Kerry Hoy, Fiona Robertson, Caroline Johnstone, Anita Bell, Ali Wild, Jo Nulty, Jo Ward, Kerry Smith, Sarah Williams, Sarah Letman, Gia Henry, Carrie Meaden to name and shame just a few. These ladies are my lifeline on Facebook, they keep me sane and their lovely messages make me smile. I went to school with all of them, we were never best friends at school but I have met them all.
I also have to thank facebook for my gorgeous extended family, from little cousins Hannah, Kirsty ad Harry to more cousins Ian, Aimee and Lyndsay. I may not have met any of them yet but I love them all dearly.
So now modern technology plays a massive part of our lives I have a lot to thank twitter for too. I only discovered it 12 months ago, and I can safely say I have made some amazingly lovely friends.
@The Mummy Life
@Lincoln and Me
@Beach Bum Beauty
and the coolest gang of ladies i know
@Nik of oz
@lauras little bakery
(To name just a few)
My special Twitter mates, the ones I can shout when I need them, the ones I really can’t wait to meet.
So it seems that I spend most of my time chatting to friends is online, by text or a snatched phone call to say I’m on my way.
Does this make me sad, that I only talk to my friend’s online or even by text?
Does this make me a bad friend?
Lots of love
Friday, 25 February 2011
As usual minutes will be taken for those of you still in bed or just can’t be bothered attending.
So where do I sign up? It’s not a difficult thing is it, to join, not like being a mum?
So what do you want to know, I suppose I had better start from the beginning. I am 30, yes that is right 30 (I am still coming to terms with that) and a mum to a very sprightly 2 year 4 month old boy.
But I need to join the Bad Mummy Club shall I tell you why...
1) My baby Baba he wakes at 5.30 am to 6 am everyday but we don’t go downstairs until 7.30 am, because of the dog don’t you know. What I do is I let him in my bed! I know, I know awful and I then commit the cardinal sin, I put on the TV and the PlayStation and put BBC I player on and let him watch Cbeebies, or sometimes I put YouTube on and he watches Mickey Mouse. I then lay back down and rest, while he watches TV.
2) My child likes to eat, and I let him eat when he wants. If he wants sugary sweets I let him have them, he eats chocolate, and lollipops and crisps. If he likes it he can have it.
3) He has also had Coke Zero before oh slap me now.
4) Some days do you know we don’t get dressed till 12, we lounge about. He wants a movie on I let him watch them, and we sit under the covers in a PJs and watch it. When it is finished we may get dressed.
5) Baba has a routine at night, but if he is having fun, then I will let him stay up. Sometimes he stays up to 9 pm I know awful aren’t I but if he isn’t tired what is the point with battling with him.
6) When we walk the dog, in the woods or on the beach I don’t always hold his hand. I let him run I let him be free.
7) If he is screaming too much in the car, and is actually fine, yes I have put the music on a little louder and I am fine with that. It is usually because he is tired and he always goes to sleep with music.
8) I eat his chocolate; seriously he gets far too much when I am working late at night and am hungry I will eat it.
9) I lie, generally about the last point, I tell him he ate it all and never mention that Mummy ate it. But I lie about other things too, like when I want to watch Loose Women and his channels have broke you know little things like that.
10) But do you know the cardinal sin, I send him off to Nannies with a little glint of pleasure. Because I have got a day too myself to do things I want to do. Even if it is just work!
I love my son dearly, and unconditionally and would walk the world for him, so please let me join the bad mummy club as I think I am entitled.
Bad Mummy club star for the lovely Kerry, Welcome to the club!
Thursday, 24 February 2011
Yesterday on the blog I wrote a post reminiscing about my childhood, how life was simple and full of people around us. After a few on comments last night it seemed that you all agreed our childhood was filled with Rara skirts (for the girls) He-Man (for the boys) and it was all good (most of the time).
So then I got to thinking about our kids and what they are missing out on, the world has moved on since the60’s, 70’s and 80’s so I decided to compare my list yesterday to growing up in the 90’s and Noughty’s.
So here who better to ask than the lovely Mission kids, they were all born late 90’s and early Noughty’s.
Milk Man; if you have one of these nowadays please stand up? *Looks around* If you ask my children where does milk come from the first thing the little ones will shout is...Cows. Ask the older Mission and they will tell you, Asda, Tesco or the local Shop. Drama Mission saw a van the other day it had Milk written on the side of it. “What’s that mum?” He is a Milk Man; she looked at me as if I had gone completely mad. I had to explain what a Milk Man was and what he did. I could see her little mind working overtime “Mum, if a Milk Man brings milk so early in the morning and leaves it on the step, won’t someone steal it?” I had to explain that normally the only people that used to steal our milk where neighbours (but they always replaced it) and birds pecking through the foil lids (occasionally).
The Postman: He comes once a day, normally after lunch (for us anyway). He pushes a little trolley around so he doesn’t put his back out with his heavy load. This is because we now live in a Health and Safety mad country; we can’t sneeze without doing some sort of RISK ASSESSMENT. They now work for minimum wage, but to bump up their earnings they deliver a load of leaflets and crap through our doors too.
Pop Man, He has now been made redundant from his weekly duties, because we keep being told that sugar is bad for our teeth. I remember never really watching what we ate or drank when I was little. We brushed our teeth once a day and I never had to have a filling until I was 19. Now a day’s our kids are nagged to brush their teeth twice a day, for no less than three minutes. Our kids have the worst tooth decay rates ever. Why is this?
The Doctor: If you call your doctors this morning and ask to see your GP I bet only a handful of you are lucky enough to be able to say I know who my doctor is. If I call our GP’s surgery and ask to see Dr Walton who was the doctor we were signed up to 14 years ago, you will be told sorry she doesn’t work today. We can fit you in with another doctor in the practice. You will almost never see the doctor you signed up to anymore; you can only get appointments for that day and only if it’s an emergency. If you call and there are no appointments you will be offered a Triage appointment with the doctor on duty to see if you’re sick enough to warrant an afternoon appointment. If you’re sick in the evening or at the weekend then god help you. You have to call your surgery of a special “Out Of Hours” number. You call them and they ask you a load of daft questions, then they tell you that a GP or Nurse will call you back. Once the Nurse generally calls you back and tells you to come up to a special out of hours space at the hospital, where you and 200 other people will wait and wait in a germ infested room, where you could wait at least three hours for a doctor to call your name, give you a quick check over and then either give you some medication or tell you if you’re no better go back and see your GP on Monday. (Give me strength)
Coins, Are now lightweight and don’t make you feel very rich anymore, unless you’re a mum. When you grab your purse to run to the shop and you get there to find the kids have been in it and took your £1 coins and silver and left you will a load of copper in your purse. Thank god for cards and card payments.
Notes, 21st century notes are smaller than the good old notes from the day. You will struggle to ever find a crisp £5 note, they constantly have to change them due to fraudsters being able to copy them and sell them on the black market.
Freedom, Our kids don’t have the freedom that we had when we were younger, they now have Mobiles (well most of them) so we can track every single foot step. We have a fear of someone stealing them, or doing horrible things to them so we wrap them up in bubble wrap and try and keep them entertained ourselves.
School Dinners, Rationing trays, portion control and Jamie Oliver have all ruined school dinners. Our kids will never know how yummy ham and chips where from the school canteen. It’s all sandwich bars, snack bars and a variety of healthy hot food.
School Dinner Ladies, these ladies are still in charge and some of them still look like your auntie, but if your child is upset and distressed they are not allowed to hug or comfort your child. I have a friend who is a dinner lady and she was told when starting her role, she was not allowed to touch the child. This is madness, if my child falls over or is upset I want the dinner lady to comfort my child end of! I think schools should send out a form for all parents who DONT want their child comforting if they are upset and see how many send them back.
Playground Games, Three words HEALTH AND SAFETY. Yep those words again I told you we had gone mad. Our kids are no longer allowed to Throw snowballs or play in the snow, have conker fights, play tic, play any sort of tag games, the list is endless. It is all because we now live in a country that will sue schools if there little darling gets injured. Even school trips are a night mare as the school had to state of their letters that if your child gets injured on a trip outside of school then your darling is not covered on the Councils insurance and you should take out your own insurance policy. (Dear god) *shakes head*
Neighbours, (I’m still not talking the Australian variety), now we have lived in our street for the past 9 years and I still don’t know all the neighbours. If the children ride past a certain neighbour’s house then he will come out and threaten to call the police. Neighbours just aren’t what they used to be. When we had been living in our street for about 5 years, we noticed the young girl next door had locked herself out, being good neighbours we asked if she wanted to wait in ours until her mum came home it was raining (she was about 17) and she politely said no it was fine, half an hour passed and I went back out and asked if she wanted to wait in our porch at least just so she was out of the rain. She agreed and 20 minutes later her mum arrived home. I explained we had asked her to come into the house but she wasn’t too sure, her mum thanked us for being so kind and explained that the reason why she was so unsure was because no one had ever offered to take her in before now. (This makes me sad)
Street Parties A thing of the past, the closet thing our kids get to see a street party is when our neighbour goes on holiday and her boys have weeklong parties.
Payday, This is now a monthly occasion for most of us, it doesn’t get celebrated it gets calculated and shared out to make sure it pays all the monthly bills on time.
Tape Players/Walkmans, Have now been replaced by IPod’s and MP3 players, you charge them up, download your favourite tunes and away you go.
Records, If you tell your kids about records they look at you as if you’re mad. I remember Daddy Mission sorting through his Albums one day and little Teenage Mission looked at him and said “Daddy, those will never fit in the CD player” *looks in despair*
Taping your favourite songs from the top 40, this is now what the kids would call “DOWNLOADING” your favourite tunes from Itunes or other such favourites with the kids. *screams in horror*
Bath Night, This is no longer a Sunday night ritual it is now a daily experience, our kids are too clean that is why they constantly get sick.
I could go on and on about how are kids are missing out on life skills because we live in a nanny state, a country that has gone HEALTH AND SAFETY mad.
We all live in fear that we may be sued because we sneezed over someone or looked at them in the wrong way.
We live in a country where freedom of speech applies to only a few of us; if you are in the wrong minority group you will be judged.
We teach our kids that they can’t leave our sides, because we fear more than the big bad man who wanders around in a big black cape, like we used to imagine him when we were little. The big bad man is now a man or a lady and they look quite normal so how will our children ever be able to learn who is good and who is bad.
We also teach them that Simon Cowell is the font of all knowledge and he know stuff about music...Ok I lied about that one but you get the idea.
So let’s make a stand, let’s teach our kids how to be kids again. It’s up to you, I’m teaching mine about respect and love and guiding them on the path so they can tell their children about their wonderful childhood.
Lots of love
Wednesday, 23 February 2011
I was asked a serious question by my beautiful daughter Princess Mission today:
“Mummy, when you were little was everything Black and White?”
Bloody hell how old does she think I am? I mean I know I’m turning 35 on my next birthday but seriously I’m really NOT that old *looks around for sniggers*
So this got me thinking (It takes time believe me) when I was a kid life was simple, carefree and filled with excitement.
We had a Milk Man, if your window was open on a hot summer’s night you would hear him around 5am with his electric milk float and the sound of the bottles tapping against each other. Not to mention on a Friday when your mum realised she didn’t have enough money to pay the milk man and got you to hide behind the sofa so he thought no one was home. (Maybe that was just us)
The Postman would come BEFORE breakfast and again at lunchtime (yes twice in the same day) none of this Health and Safety malarkey, posties where made to work for their less than minimum wage pay packet.
We also had a Pop Man, he would roll up in his van on a Thursday (payday) and sell your mum as many bottles (glass again) of pop she could carry. Cola, Orangeade, Green cream soda that your Nan would put ice cream in if you were good. If your pop man sold good pop, Barr mainly then you could take the bottles back to your local shop and get 10p or 12p from the shop keeper for taking the bottles back.
We had doctors that would make HOME VISITS, not just on a weekend but if you were sick after 5pm on a weekday, there was none of this out of hour’s fiasco. Your mum would call the doctor and he would be at your house quicker than you could say Boo (well not quite but almost) and it would be your doctor the one you would see every time you were sick. You knew his or her name and they knew everything about you warts and all (but we won’t discuss that on here)
We had proper coins, none of this fiddly five pence thing, coins where big and bulky and when you had a load of change in your pocket you felt like the richest kid in the street. We had massive 50 pence pieces, 10 pence’s that would injure you if you dropped it, 5 pence pieces to be proud of, penny’s that you could find in your purse and half pence pieces because you could buy things in a shop with those little babies.
It wasn’t just the coins that were better we had pound notes. If you were lucky enough to be given one by a rich relative or your mum for tidying your room for the last 12 months then you were so rich. But you wouldn’t dare spend it, oh hell no because you would only get coins if you spent it. We had fivers that where as big as a ten pound note, now they were notes that you could be proud of.
We used to go out at 9 in the morning on our bikes and come home when we were hungry. There was none of this Mobile phone tagging that we have got going on with our kids. Our mums knew we would be back or knew exactly which friend’s house we would be at without even asking.
School Dinners were on proper plates, none of these rationing trays that our kids have, and Jamie Oliver would have flipped because if you wanted chips and gravy everyday then the dinner ladies would never say no (they may have even given you a little extra).
School Dinner Ladies, looked like you aunties and smelt like your Nan. With their Charlie perfume on they were always ready and willing to give out hugs when needed.
Teachers they were loud and scarey (well some of them) and we never knew their first names or age. (we didn't dare ask either)
Playground Games, oh so many to mention, British Bull dog, The Tennis ball in a pair of your mums American tan tights, conker fights, kiss chase, what’s the time Mr Wolf. I could go on and on, playtime was fun time a chance to run around like a complete loon and no one would stop you.
Neighbours, (I’m not talking the Australian variety) you would know every single one of them even if they lived 30 houses away. They would know all about you and your family and would always tell you off if you were being naughty. You would never be rude or disrespectful to them as your mum or dad would kill you.
Street Parties, a Royal wedding, a Royal Jubilee or even a Conservative Prime minister resigning there would always be a street party. An excuse for the elderly neighbours of the street a chance to show those young ones how it’s done.
Payday was a weekly occasion, normally celebrated by going shopping to the kwik save, buying pop from the pop man and a chippy tea. Oh how I miss those days.
Tape Players/walkmans, you would feel so grown up with your Walkman on, bopping around the living room to Jason Donovan. The only downside is when the battery’s started to run out Jason would sound a little slllooowwww.
Records, singles or if you were lucky you would have an album. You would have to check the needle on the record player for fluff and if you scratched it then Kylie would never sound the same again.
Taping your favourite songs from the top 40, now that was how to spend a Sunday night which was also Bath Night. Your would put your tape in and have to press play, record and pause at the same, time, then it would be a challenge to pause the tape before Doctor Fox came on and ruined your mix tape.
Bath Night, Sunday night ready for school the next day, hair washed, clean pj’s at the ready and 7 o’clock bed.
So this was my childhood, tomorrow I shall be blogging about the same thing but through the eyes of our kids let’s see how different things REALLY are.
Lots of love
Sunday, 20 February 2011
It has been one of those weeks in the Mission household. Apart from the normal 5 loads of washing a day, the cooking, the cleaning, the school runs, the homework, the reading books and the bath times, I really didn’t think I could fit anything else into my life. That was until I decided to embrace the chance to add another group of services to my current business.
You see I’m normally just playing mummy and running my very small Freelance Media Company. We are very small and my role is to find real life stories and with the help of my lovely friend and work colleague Fiona, we get those stories published in magazines such as Bella, Take 5, Take a break etc.
I love my job, I love talking to the people (as strange as they may seem at first) and I love being able to help get their stories out there, for everyone to see. Things can be slow and steady and the income can come in thick and fast or nothing for months. So I decided that a regular income is what this little family needs, but what?
I started searching the local ads for admin positions...Nothing.
I put my CV on Jobsite and Monster. With all my 18 years experience there must be something...Nope Nothing.
I would lie awake for hours my mind would race. You see the whole point in me finding an income was so I could support my family more. We don’t need material things, the children never go short of shoes and clothes (when they need them) I was thinking on a bigger scale. The Missions need a bigger HOUSE.
You see we live in a lovely little 3 bed semi detached house, which was fine when there were just the four of us. It was a bit squashed with five of us, but now there are SIX of us and we have suddenly out grown the whole house.
With Teenager and Monster sharing a bedroom (13 and nearly 3) the situation is far from workable. Teenage Mission would love his own space, for his friends to come and stay, but with Monster in his room there is just no way that can happen.
Drama and Princess also share a room (10 and nearly 5) this situation is a bit more workable as the gap isn’t so big.
Then there is me and daddy. As much as I would love my own room away from the snoring and the farting, I would just be grateful for a bed that has space around it. We are currently in the box bedroom which has no space at all. When daddy wants to get out of bed he has to climb over me and normally stands on my leg or foot getting out.
So I decided to work on the principal that if I got a regular income coming into the house then Daddy really couldn’t refuse to let us move.
I decided to work on my strengths and work with what I am good at. I spoke to some people and decided to add a Virtual Assistant service to my small company.
I have worked day and night for the last two weeks. Looking out for free advertising, setting up a blog, a website, some social networking via BT Tradespace and badgering friends to take my business cards and leaflets into their places of work.
So far so good, *checks phone is working* *Checks inbox AGAIN*
I know things are going to be slow at first but this has to work.
I have been called a few things over the last few months; selfish seems to be the keyword that keeps getting thrown back at me by people I thought were friends.
“You’re just being ungrateful, as you have roof over your head.”
“I should learn to just make the space work in the house and not be so demanding.”
“You’re just being a drama queen.”
“Stop being so selfish.”
To quote just a few of the sentences, which have been thrown at me over the last few months.
Believe me I have tried so hard to make everything work and if we could create another room in the house to make it a bedroom then I would. The space in the house is unworkable; the house is just too small.
So if I have to work day and night I will make this business work. If I have to work two jobs as well as the business then I will, for the good of my family.
So if you know any businesses, tradesmen/woman, anyone who needs some Admin and Clerical help with their business then please get them to drop me and email or give me a call.
Thanks for listening to me rant and moan (I promise I’m so not a drama queen)
Lots of Love
Saturday, 19 February 2011
I have heard it being said on so many occasions and it’s so true (well in the Mission house it is anyway), You see Daddy Mission has never been very good at romance, when we first met he wined and dined me (well chippy tea and a bottle of red counts doesn’t it?)
He never really got the hang of the whole romance thing, but he is a man and not many of them get it right. We girls have had our hope raised by watching chick flicks where the man Woo’s the woman, sends her flowers, gives her Diamonds and does the whole romance thing.
Daddy Mission did try in the early stages. I once told him I saw a cute little puppy (a stuffed one) in a shop on the way home from work. The next night I arrived home from work and he told me that I couldn’t go into the kitchen. When I asked why he said he had found a little puppy roaming around outside and as we lived on the main road he brought it in until the RSPCA arrived.
I went to investigate; my kitchen was no place for some flea invested puppy! There sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor was this little stuffed puppy I had told him about the previous night. Kicking myself that I didn’t tell him about the huge diamond I saw instead, he was rewarded with a kiss from mummy.
I also remember another time when he called me at work to tell me he had brought me a gift. I was excited all day, when I arrived home he proudly opened the kitchen door to show me my gift. A Washing Machine (what every woman dreams of), I rolled my eyes and went off to get changed. Later on Daddy Mission gave me his socks and told me to go and do a wash (so romantic) ignoring his request I carried on watching TV. Later that evening I decided now that I have a new washing machine I may as well use it. So whilst daddy was in the shower I took some washing into the kitchen as I opened the washing machine door I found a silver box inside (now realising why daddy was so keen on me doing a wash) I decided to play trick on him. I took the silver box out and put the clothes in and turned on the machine.
Daddy rushed downstairs to find me sitting watching TV (well I was 3 months pregnant) he had this strange grin on his face. When I asked what he was grinning for he said “Did you get your present?” (He wasn’t talking about the washing machine but play along) “Yes you showed me the washing machine” I replied.
“No your other present?” daddy announced. “What are you talking about?” I asked. He went on to explain that he thought the washing machine was a bit of a crap present to give to a three month pregnant woman so he had hid a gift inside (which he really didn’t think I knew about). When I told him I had just put the washer on his face was a picture (I’m so mean). He rushed outside to find the silver wrapping from the present on the side and me standing in the doorway wearing my gorgeous present.
He had brought me a charm bracelet with a heart charm on it. It was so beautiful, but he lost daddy points for trying to trick me.
I could go on forever with the “thoughtful” presents daddy has brought me and none of them were romantic. The Ironing board, the Chocolate Subuteo (don’t ask), the garage flowers, the list is endless. It can’t be just Daddy Mission that is the most unromantic man in the world. Can it?
I know we had the whirliest whirl wind romance, we had only been going out with each other for three months then I discovered I was pregnant with Teenage Mission.
He does try every now and again, like this year he never sends me an Anniversary card (he never remembers), never mind a Valentines Card (which I don’t really mind) but this year things are looking up. I actually got a Valentines Card with the message “I may drive you mad sometimes, but my heart is in the right place...Next to yours. “
So fingers crossed after 14 years together and 8 years married he might actually remember what date our wedding anniversary is. Fingers crossed. Xx
Lots of love
Thursday, 17 February 2011
@TheMummyLife . As usual minutes will be taken for those Bad Mummy's who can't attend because they are eating biscuits and watching Jeremy Kyle.
2. Walking and Talking: Two things every parent wishes their child could do from an early age. Stop wishing it on your child, because once they start there is NO stopping them. They can get into mischief in an empty room if you let them. You will never be safe in the knowledge, that you know exactly where your child is all the time, especially if you have cupboards.
3. Valuables and Ornaments: Now is the time to move anything of any value out of your house for good. Not only will your little one want to destroy every little trinket you have, you will also find everything covered in slobber, snot and food.
4. Siblings: This is where sibling rivalry takes place. When your older child (if you have one) decides that his/her little Brother or sister isn’t that much fun anymore. They are leaning that they can take their toys and destroy their works of art; siblings are just no fun especially little wobbling ones.
5. Tea Time will become a trial they will go through the most bizarre phases, I like beans... erm no I don’t like them anymore. You will find that you will try two or three different meals a night just to try and get them to eat something.
6. Food: Will become your enemy, you will find it hidden in the most unusual places, the back of the sofa (normally Toast), chocolate (normally stuck to ANY glass surface), Crumpets (normally Mummy’s handbag) well I suppose they are just thinking about us getting peckish whilst we are doing the housework.
7. Sharing: This is the hardest part, no one likes sharing but as good parents we teach our kids that is so important to share. As a parent I DONT share, it’s my wine, my chocolate and my bubble bath. I’m sorry I have got four little sisters I shared enough over the years.
8. Potty Training is a time of pride. When little one decides he or she has had enough of the nappy and your bank manager calls you to thank you for not being in the red from now on. Be warned you will find little puddles and Poo’s in little places around the house the first few weeks. Remember they are NOT puppies please do not rub their little noses in the wee. Point them in the direction of the potty and pray.
9. Bath time: A time when your bathroom will resemble a scene from Titanic. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED!
10. Bedtime: This is a time that us Mum’s and Dad’s look forward too at the end of a hard day. The luxury about little ones is that they can’t tell the time. So if 6.30pm comes around and you really need a rest it’s off to bed no fuss about it not being time and the Joy of SKY + if your crafty enough is to record the bedtime song and the red screen at the end of Cbebbies, they will never know.
So that’s the Toddler Years out of the way, just think there are so many more years to look forward too. Enjoy!
Lots of love
Thursday, 10 February 2011
I will be taking minutes for those of you who can’t attend, so see me after the meeting.
Confessions of a Bad Mother Part One.
41, mum of four aged 19, 16, 9 and 6. BBGB.
I would like a Bad Mother badge because - In no particular order:
- I love my kids – but I would like to be able to poo/bathe in piece for just ten minutes without interruption. So I sneak off when I need time to myself. Throw food in front of them (or even better, sweets) turn the telly on and away I go. Even if I get 5 minutes – bliss.
- During the winter my two youngest get baths once a week at the weekend. I don’t have the energy or the inclination – they go to school in full uniform and come home – how dirty can they BE?? Obviously in the summer they get sweaty and dirty every day but that, dear friends, is why the Sweet Baby Jesus made garden hoses and paddling pools. Chuck ‘em in, splash around, get them out and put them straight into their pj’s.
- I hate the park. Sorry, I mean I. HATE. THE. PARK. – a nice long walk through a BIG park, like Hyde Park/Kensington Gardens – fine.
I’m talking about a PLAYGROUND scenario. Swings/Slides/merry-go-rounds??? Ugh. No thank you. ‘Push me! Look at me! Watch me! Push me! Mummy it’s MY turn!’ No thanks – you can keep it – I’ll take them shopping and for lunch. I’m exhausted thinking about it.
- Ditto public swimming pools. Wading around in a big vat of other people and their kid’s piss? I’d rather shoot myself in the face. Ask Daddy. He’ll take you – I’m cleaning.
- I hate helping with homework. Mine get FAR too much and it is just NEVER ENDING. I hate it. And school ‘projects’? You can shove them up your arse too. ‘Mummy I forgot to tell you – I’m a tree in the play tomorrow!’ Jesus. ‘Mummy I need to make the complete planetary system for science tomorrow.’ That teacher is NOT on my Christmas card list and is lucky if they don’t receive a verbal bashing in the middle of the playground.
- If my 16 year old leaves his phone unlocked and near me I read his text messages. Don’t give me that crap about privacy – he’s 16! Remember 16??? You’re an IDIOT at 16. You think you know everything – you know NOTHING. I’m merely protecting his interests. He’s extremely intelligent but the lack of common sense in him and his friends is astounding. But they can’t help it – they’re 16. And anyway, he KNOWS I’m going to read his messages so it’s really his fault if he leaves it lying around – isn’t it?
- I lie to my kids. All the time. Not about the important stuff, just stuff that I’ve decided they need to be told a lie about. No guilt whatsoever.
- I swear in front of them. Every day. They tell me off. I try. But come ON. I’m human. And it’s probably their fault that I’m swearing in the first place!
- They eat whatever we have the energy to cook. They are on first name terms with every cereal on the market. And if mummy and daddy are exhausted? Pizza. Takeaway. Chinese. Takeaway. See a pattern?
- I throw out their stuff. They have so much CRAP and they leave it lying around EVERYWHERE, they get one warning, after that if it’s not moved it goes in the bin. Sometimes i just bin it. What they don’t know is gone they won’t miss...
I would like to counter the above by stating for the record:
My babies are the love of my life.
They are my favourite people on earth.
I would die for them, happily.
I tell them every single day how much I love them and how gorgeous/clever/special they are.
I know they are coming down with something before they do – it’s the sweet smell of their breath and something in their eyes.
I know what childhood illnesses they have all had and when they had them, like a diary in my head.
I know them better than anyone – I know what they are thinking before they think it.
If i die tomorrow I will rest easily knowing that I did the best job I did and my kids will know how much they were worshipped and adored.
Just don’t ask me to go to the park.
I'm sure you will agree Caroline deserves a Gold Star for being a Bad Mummy...Welcome to the club!
Wednesday, 9 February 2011
THE BABY YEARS – 0- 1
1. The birth can go either way it can be long and traumatic or it can be quick and easy. But what they don’t tell you is you will probably suffer from either a tear or piles. Both not nice and both will make weeing uncomfortable for a few days.
2. Remember your Boobs? Well you had better forget them right now because as we speak they are heading south (and I don’t mean heading to London) and they will leak on you at the most inappropriate time. Be warned!
3. Sleep will become a thing of the past; you will learn to survive on half an hour a night and probably less during the teething stages.
4. Advice: Having a baby and being seen with it in public gives total strangers the green light pop over and have a look, which is great but it also gives them the right to give you the most bizarre advice ever!
5. A quick trip to the shops will become a thing of the past, trips in future will be planned in military style. You will need 2 milk bottles (just in case), a water bottle, bibs, 2 changes of clothes, unlimited nappies, wipes, dummies, blankets, favourite bear and that’s only for a quick trip to the asda. If you decided to go out for the day or god forbid your even thinking of planning a holiday them you will need to hire a bloody van!
6. Your lovely quiet, clean and tranquil home WILL turn into a scene from how clean is your home. No matter how many times you clean, tidy and Hoover you will always find a bottle or toy belonging to the new addition.
7. The Health Visitor: This is normally either a woman in her 50’s or a woman in her 20’s the older the health visitor normally the better (I said normally) the younger ones will speak to you like they are reading from a text book. You ask them a question and they will google the answer!
8. You will become very familiar with your kitchen sink as you will spend so much time cleaning bottles, but your kitchen will be the cleanest room in the house.
9. You will have a new best friend, the washing machine. You may have the smallest house guest you have ever had but they will create the greatest washing pile ever!
10. Mummy/Daddy relationships, they will change dramatically! If he moves in for a cuddle, you pretend you’re asleep in fear that he might want a bit of the other and you are simply just too tired.
Hope all of this has helped and if you have any of your own leave it in the comments box.
Lots of love
Monday, 7 February 2011
Have you ever been made to feel like you’re just a terrible Mum? Have Health Visitors and Midwives, ever made you feel like you are just not worthy? Maybe it was a mum in school that makes you feel like a failure? *starts counting heads*
Then apply to be a part of the Bad Mummy Club, we don’t judge, we just listen and maybe have a cup of tea with a nice slice of cake. (Ok a big slice of cake).
I don’t normally let things like this get me into a massive rant, but I feel that it’s finally time to let it all out and maybe I will feel better after saying it all. Please beware that some of you may hate me after this post.
Right apparently we are BAD MUMMYS if we don’t Breast Feed our children. Now let me get this out there. I have the upmost respect for any mummy that chooses to Breast feed, but please don’t make us mums that choose not too or simply can’t feel bad. I am so sick of going to our GP’s at the moment (they have one of those screens that for ads and stuff.) You know the ones, and I am so sick of that she’s a star Breast feeding mum’s ad.
In my eyes all mums that try their very best for their children, whether we choose to feed them from our bodies or from a shiny tin in the supermarket makes us no different. I was frowned at in the hospital all 4 times for not breast feeding, I simply couldn’t do it.
Next on the list is Weaning too early, right when my son was 4 months (he is now a teenager) we were advised to start weaning at 4 months. This was perfectish. Ok he got a bit peckish around 3mths old but a little tiny bit of baby rice sorted that out. (What! he was hungry). When I had Monster nearly 3 years ago they were recommending I didn’t wean him until he was 6 whole months old. I’m sorry but to some babies that is just cruel.
When Hitler...Ops sorry the Health Visitor shouted at me for weaning monster at 4 months, I couldn’t believe my ears she was basically telling me to starve my child. Red rag to a bull and I asked her if he was underweight, crying constantly then which department of Social Services she would report me to. End of matter all babies are different, if they are hungry feed them.
This brings me nicely onto Jarred Food. I was made to feel like a proper bad Mummy, by another mummy at school, because I didn’t make my own baby food. Now don’t get me wrong I have done the whole faffing around with carrots, mash and other such stuff, cooking it all up and putting it in ice cube trays. It was all good at the beginning, but my four ate for England. I would use a whole ice cube tray every day. So in the end I resorted to baby jars *listens for the gasps* there I said it. It kept the kids happy, so happy Babies = Happy Mummy.
Another thing I have been made to feel bad about is TV time. This is one of the ONLY times we will get a chance to do the housework. So when I was made to feel bad about even letting little one watch Cbebbies, I stared to challenge my mummy skills. How bad could watching TV be for little Monster? After all, all of the other Missions had watched it an it simply done them no harm, it’s not like I was letting them watch the Playboy channel now was it?
As they grow older we have a whole other set of bad mummy rules to break, take for example dare I say it. I sometimes feed my children *Deep Breath* FROZEN FOOD *hangs head in shame*
Seriously whatever! I give them sweets as well, so you might as well hang me now!
I am so sick and tired of being branded a BAD MUMMY, by people who don’t know me.
So what if i dont buy my daughters Lellie Kellie shoes or I dare to say NO to my kids on occasions.
Who cares that I shop at Primark, Tesco and Asda for clothes, because they are cheaper and sometime much nicer.
I won’t be judged because I ignore Temper tantrums whilst at the shops, yes I am one of those mums that walks away from their child. (but I have also just given in sometimes for a peaceful life.)
I am making a stand for all the “BAD MUMMY’S” out there *looks around* *prays I’m not alone*
So if you’re a Bad Mummy, then please leave a comment in the box and I will come and give you a gold star for joining the club.
Lots of love
Please note that i am in no way judging mummys who follow the book, but mummy hood is hard sometimes and there are no firm rules to follow. x
Sunday, 6 February 2011
She was asking what your dream gift would be and would we share it with her. So I sat all the Missions down and asked each of them to have a think. If they could have one gift, no price restriction what would it be?
I started with the Littest first Monster:
Mummy: What would you like as a present?
Monster: Errrrmmmmm feeties (sweeties)
Mummy: You can have anything you want
Monster: Errrrmmm Peppa Pig.
Ok we will leave that one there for a minute it could take some time with Monster.
Then I asked Princess:
She was easy...Mummy she declared I would like a double buggy with two dollies and changing bags with real nappies.
I love a girl who knows what she wants.
Drama was next:
Like her little sister she didn’t even pause...I want Aston she declared! Yes you know the young one from JLS. Well he is kind of cute.
I dreaded the next one it was Teenage Mission:
He said he wanted something or other, but as you know with teenagers they are just a bundle of grunts and moans so I got him to write it down for me.
Next was Daddy:
He knew exactly what he wanted; more VW camper van stuff of course as his camper is his pride and joy I wouldn’t have expected anything less really.
Then it was finally my turn, what would I choose? I never treat myself to gifts, my family used to give me the money to go and buy something that I wanted. That never happened I used to spend the money on the kids. (Well there is always something they need)
So when I had the opportunity to really think about what I wanted I jumped at the chance so many things I would love, clothes, shoes but most of all I love anything cutesy.
So when I heard about presentdreams my little heart skipped a beat. I got even more excited once I started browsing. So if I could choose 5 things just for me (well maybe for others as well), then this is what I would choose.
1. This amazing heart photo frame it would look fabulous hanging in my conservatory but I would need to order 4 one for each mission child.
2. Butterfly Cake Stand this is so beautiful and the detail on it is so pretty.
3. Would have to be this gorgeous Baby essential bouquet. I know I said my wish list but this would make me smile to be able to give this to my beautiful pregnant sister who is expecting a beautiful baby girl in April.
4. Now this would make me smile, as I adore cute little things like this fabulous Daisy cosmetic dolly bag
5. Finally I would have to have these gorgeous Large gift bags as well as these cute Gift Tags, Gift Tag.
So I know what I will be doing today planning all of my families cutesy gifts, ordering in my gift wrap and maybe getting myself a lovely little gift for being so organised.
Make sure you pop over to Presant Dreams soon and see if it makes you smile too.
Lots of love
Most Daddy’s have a favourite word or saying don’t they? They can vary from, “In a minute” to “I’ll do it later” then my all time favourite “what have you been doing all day” (I knew that one would get you).
If you ask any of the Mission kids they will tell you that our daddy uses all the above phrases and more but the one he uses the most is “NO”. He loves that word so much that we have actually told him we will have it imprinted on his forehead to save him saying it. Well we wouldn’t ever want him to lose his voice now would we.
So we as Missions have decided to take a stand against Daddy and every time he uses his favourite word we are going to do the opposite. (just to teach him a lesson)
Take Teenage Mission for a prime example, he wanted to go for tea at the pub for his 13th birthday... Daddy said “NO” so Mummy grabbed the phone called up the whole family and booked the table. Guess what Daddy came to the meal and he had a really good time.
Then there was Drama Mission she wanted so desperately to see JLS in concert... Daddy said...(you got it) “NO” so as a good mummy we went and booked it anyway. It seems daddy coped with babysitting the two little ones after all and Drama got the best birthday present ever.
Next is Princess Mission’s birthday, now this gorgeous little girl will be 5 and she has picked something she has wanted for ages as a gift. A Rabbit. I know some of you will think she is a little young, but Drama Mission wants to buy one too out of her birthday money she has left over.
Daddy said “NO”...Mummy went and put a deposit on a hutch, two rabbit and all the accessorise.
Your getting the jist of this now aren’t you? I’m not saying Daddy is a bad Daddy or Hubby he goes out to work every day to look after his family. We just now as a family want to change his way of thinking and evict THAT word from his vocabulary.
So the next few tasks we have planned are:
A massive party for Monster as it will be his 3rd birthday and Christening in the same week, so much to celebrate. (Oh and we are missing a god parent, so any offers would be appreciated)
I am currently de-cluttering and re-vamping the house and at the end of the month we will have an estate agent around to value this tiny house so we can move. (Another thing daddy has already said no too).
You may by now be thinking “god what a spoilt cow” I’m so not believe me, and I’m so not a “yes Mummy” you know the ones who are afraid of saying no to their kids.
I say “No” a lot too. When Princess and Drama wanted Lellie Kellie shoes I said “Nooooooooooooo way”.
When Teenage Mission wanted to go to Town and hang around with his mates on a Saturday I said “ermmmm NO”.
When the kids want sweets before dinner I say “Not a chance”. (well it’s as good as no).
My “No’s” are practical, sensible and needed. Daddy’s “NO’s” are just not needed. So wish us luck on our challenge to only let Daddy use the word “NO” when he actually needs too.
Lots of Love