Tuesday, 15 March 2011

Monster and the old Man

Kids have this unbelievable knack of saying the wrong things at the wrong times.  Well maybe not the wrong things.  It’s just case that they haven’t heard the saying engage the brain before you open your mouth. I'm guilty of this too you know.

Take Little Princess for a prime example, she is always doing it.

We were once in Asda, browsing in the cake aisle (as you do) when princess spotted a lady that was a little over weight shall we say.  She was buying weight watchers cakes.  Princess looked at me and announced to the whole aisle “why is that lady buying low fat cakes?” trying hard to shut her up I told her “maybe she is on a diet” Princess shook her head and said “don’t you think it’s a bit late for that” .  We made a quick exit from the cake aisle.

Another example was a quick trip to boots, Princess again.  We were looking at the skin care when a nice man who was dressed as a lady (politically correct term fails me) was also looking at wrinkle creams. Holding no punches, Princess said “Mummy, why is that man dressed as a lady?”  The lady/man looked at me, I couldn’t explain.  So I said “well people dress in different ways sweetie.”  Thinking she would be happy with that explanation, we moved down the aisle, but no that wasn’t good enough for Princess as she went on to say “well if he wants to be a lady, he should have had a shave first!”  Oh ground open up please, biting my lip trying hard not to burst out laughing, we moved out of the aisle.

Princess still not content, with the lady/man.  She told the shop assistant “There is a man dressed as a lady over there; you should show him were all the lady stuff is because he isn’t fooling anyone”.

Kids also have a knack of repeating things you really didn’t think they heard you say.

Like one of my neighbours, is well let’s say has a very lived in face.  When talking to the neighbour one day, Princess again was staring at this neighbour, so much so the neighbour stopped talking to me and asked Princess was she ok?

Princess replied “yes I’m fine thank you; I am just looking to see what lives in your face?” Pardon the said neighbour replied “well my mummy said you had a lived in face and I just wanted to see what lived in it?”  Bright red and full of apologise, explaining she overheard me talking about someone else with the same name as her.

I couldn’t get away quick enough.

So you can imagine my surprise, when this morning Monster started to copy his sisters knack of dropping mummy in it.

Walking home from school, we have a lot of older people who always say good morning and smile.  So when a rather grumpier old man walked towards us, Monster was quick to comment “Look at the state of his face?” praying he wasn’t talking about the grumpy old man I asked “who’s face sweetie?”  “His face” he shouted pointing at the man walking towards us.  I couldn’t look the man in the eye.  I told monster it was rude to point and shout, he said “well look at him the miserable bugger”.

I could have died!

I have a few more years yet before Monster and Princess grow out of this not engaging the brain process, so until then I will be keeping them under lock and key.

Lots of love

Mummy x

4 comments:

  1. Haha. I'll look forward to that phase! Hilarious x

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  2. Lena
    I adore Princess, she sounds fabulously astute & has no fear. Oh to be in her prescence when she is on form, I probably would end up laughing so hard that I wouldn’t be a great example of how to behave but please don’t ever stop she is a law all of her own and should be encouraged to speak her mind, if in a slightly softer tone.

    My son did something very similar when he was four: cute blond & adorable.
    Lady struggled on to train, with briefcase, carrying a jacket, opening the door, a mars bar stuffed in her mouth.
    Son: ‘you’ll get fat eating that!’ Nobody could fail to hear his crystal clear commentary. Entire carriage of commuters ducked down behind newspapers, sniggering uncontained in sheer agreement.
    Lady: smiled, ‘yes you’re probably right,’ as she sat down in the only available seat next to my son!
    It was as much as I could do, not to split my sides with laughter.

    I hope Princess continues to bring you endless joy because it sounds like she’s off to a wining start & thank you for sharing these little gems.

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  3. You should think about introducing your daughter to stand up comedy - she'd be amazing! Seriously, kids are sooooo honest, aren't they? You've gotta love them for that!!

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  4. Princess does sound like an amazing girl, she's def got her head screwed on! I'm having to deal with similar at the mo, although little man is only 2 & 1/2 and I know it's just gonna get worse! Last week we were in Sainsbury's cafe when he pointed at some poor lady and announced "look mummy, a lady man"!!! *Cringe*

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